In the era of the open-plan office, everything from personal calls to loud music streaming through headphones to dubious eating habits are within earshot. Caroline Webb, author of How To Have A Good Day: Think Bigger, Feel Better And Transform Your Working Life, reveals ways to tell a colleague, politely and professionally, they’re driving you crazy.
Ask permission
“Say something like: ‘Our working relationship is important to me and there’s something on my mind – can
I talk to you about it?’ Which is a good way to signal your collaborative intent.”
Describe the “true facts”
“Pick one specific incident
and describe the ‘true facts’: the things
you know for sure, stripped of emotion, interpretation or generalisation. Say things such as: ‘What
I noticed was [fact, fact, fact].’ Be as precise and concrete
as you can, even if you think there’s a big issue at stake.”
Describe how the “true facts” made you feel at the time
“Just like the ‘true facts’, your feelings aren’t disputable, and describing
them explains why you’re raising the issue. It also helps to convey that
this isn’t about you whining.”
Ask for their perspective
“When we’ve built up courage to broach a difficult topic, it’s easy to forget we may not have the whole picture. Ask: ‘What’s your perspective on this?’ Pay attention to their answer, even if you disagree. Understanding what lies behind their behaviour will give you a better idea of how to solve the problem.”
Do some joint problem-solving
“Finally, decide together how to improve the situation. Try asking them for their thoughts on this first, before building on their suggestions. This isn’t about caving in to hierarchy, it’s because research shows that people
feel far more attachment to any idea that they’ve had a hand in shaping.”
