Gucci might well be the most influential fashion brand on the planet right now. The old, "Oh well I'm not a designer fashion person, so it doesn't matter," won't wash, I'm afraid. Nor, "I don't have 3 grand to spend on a handbag so whatevs."
This is why you need to care...
We fashion folk are smitten with Gucci because it's fabulous (and so shiny! Shiny makes us want things). But even if you're not particularly fussed about the, erm, fuss around this recently revamped powerhouse of an Italian brand, the fact is, the Gucci effect is strong. And it's coming to a high street near you.
In fact it's already there.
That pleated skirt you just bought? Inspired by Gucci. Geek Glasses. Gucci. Gold mules? You've guessed it. Embroidered flowers and bees? Yep. Chinoiserie. "Oh stop it now Clare. We get it." Okies, good. So.
The big Spring/Summer '17 show just opened Milan fashion week. Security was major. Guests had to bring their passports along to prove they hadn't killed their bosses to steal a ticket.
The set was pink velvet boudoir chic bathed in red light, presumably to make it difficult for attendees to take good Instagram pics, thereby backing up the message: SECURITY WAS HIGH. Add in the extreme level of craftsmanship involved in making these clothes and accessories, and it's virtually impossible to knock this stuff of on the cheap.
But don't think people won't try. Believe me, as you read this, armies of evil fast fashion geniuses are sharing their show cribbings and getting to work on your next big Gucci-inspired thing. Which will be...DRUM ROLL PLEASE...
1. Big platforms. They're everywhere this show season. Gucci's are the best obvs.
2. Ultra ruffles. A metallic pink ruffle-fronted shirt with ruffled sleeves worn with metallic pink pants, with ruffles down the side. Ruffly!
3. Pattern (and texture) clash. Go on. Wear it all together.
4. Intarsia words. That's when they're woven into the fabric. Gucci's read: "Future", and, um, "Cemetery". (Because that's where we're all headed? Crikey.)
5. Zebra. Gucci's orange coat with two giant frolicking zebras on the front is one thing. Zebra print is another - it was on the Topshop runway. It's the new leopard. Now don't say I never give you anything.
6. Punk denim: There's a version of this jacket in Gucci's Cruise '16 collection, so you can buy that soon. Or rob one off an actual punk. That's quite a punk think to do, no? Wear with a red bikini top. Simple.
7. Shiny things. Sequins. Metallics. Shimmery fringes. See point 3. More please, sir.
8. Gothic script. This is actually a Vetements thing, not a Gucci thing, but now Gucci is doing it, it's an everybody thing. Goodbye Helvetica.