1. There’s a goddamn prawn shortage just days before Christmas
That’s it. Christmas is cancelled. There are reports circulating that thanks to a nasty outbreak of “white spot disease” at prawn farms in Logan, Queensland, everyone’s favourite Christmas meal might be, quite literally, off the table.
But those in the know at the top of the prawn foodchain say that the shortage won’t affect stock available for hungry families this weekend. “There are plenty of prawns to go around,” Australian Prawn Farmers Association’s executive officer Helen Jenkins told news.com.au.
2. George Clooney is developing a feature film about the White Helmets
And not a moment too soon. The White Helmets – or the Syrian Civil Defence Force as they are formally known – are the real heroes in Syria, a volunteer force of just 3,000 men who have collectively pulled more than 70,000 men, women and children from the rubble in Aleppo. There’s already a Netflix documentary about their bravery – for which they have been nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize – and Clooney (at his most woke) will be turning this doco into the feature-length film that the world needs to see.
3. There's been some positive news in Syria
Speaking of Syria... the evacuations of Aleppo continue, and overnight it was confirmed that seven-year-old Bana Alabed and her mother Fatemah, who tweeted about life under bombardment in the besieged city, are now safe. More than 360,000 people have followed Bana's account of life in Aleppo over the past six months.
4. Helen Mirren has joined Instagram and it’s glorious
Who needs naked Gigi when you could have Dame Helen Mirren and her selfies? The 71-year-old Oscar-winner and all around boss lady has taken to your favourite social media with aplomb, sharing snaps of herself picking up wrapping paper and lolling about in big hotel beds.
5. Speaking of celebrities on Instagram… Have you seen Martin Scorsese’s account?
Because we guarantee you won’t care one single iota for Gigi and her nakedness when you see this. Martin. Scorsese. Instagram. Account. Think it will be full of very serious snaps of the director with a camera, going over a scene with Leonardo DiCaprio? Think again! It’s full of selfies, including this one of the 74-year-old chilling in a donut-shaped pool toy! Martin Scorsese. He’s just like us.
6. And speaking of directors, the first trailer for Denis Villeneuve’s Blade Runner is out, and it’s wonderful
The original Blade Runner, directed by Ridley Scott and starring Harrison Ford at his most surly and charismatic is the ne plus ultra of dystopian cinema. And, guess what, it’s turning 35 next year, which means it’s probably about time for a reboot. All the gang will be back, and that includes Ford (now 74), reprising his beloved Rick Deckard, although the lead character will be a mysterious, enigmatic drifter (aren’t they all?) played by your boyfriend Ryan Gosling. Robyn Wright Penn, Mackenzie Davis and Ana de Armas will co-star and Denis Villeneuve, the man behind Sicario and Arrival is in the director’s chair. We’re already very excited.
7. And in other trailer news, there’s one for the Goldie Hawn/Amy Schumer movie!
This movie has been shrouded in secrecy for so long we almost forgot that it was in development. Well, now there’s a trailer and we won’t be forgetting about it anytime soon. The film is called Snatched and it stars Goldie and Amy as a screwball mother/daughter duo who head to Ecuador on a holiday and end up in the middle of a global security debacle. Forget about the plot for a second, though, and just enjoy the sight of two of Hollywood’s best comediennes together for the first time.
8. Sidebar – have you heard how much Felicity Jones made for Rogue One?
Answer: a lot. So much money. Sources close to the film have told The Hollywood Reporter that Felicity Jones was by far and away the highest paid actor on the smash-hit movie, negotiating an upfront pay cheque in the high seven figures, while all her other – male – co-stars took home six figures. No word on whether Felicity has a backend deal - like the franchise's star Harrison Ford, or Scarlett Johansson with Marvel's Avengers movies - for a cut of all ticket sales or merchandise profits. Felicity Jones is dismantling the Star Wars patriarchy and we are here for it.
9. If you need to laugh, then you should see these staged pictures of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s first Christmas together
Artist Alison Jackson is famous for her recreations – she’s been staging hilarious satirical images of Donald Trump for months now – but we love this set she produced for British magazine Stella the best. They depict Prince Harry and Meghan Markle at their first Christmas together: popping champagne, pulling crackers and having a wonderful old time in the palace. Sometimes fiction is better than reality.
10. Plus, Net-A-Porter has just gone on sale