LIFE & CULTURE

Arnotts Ruins Childhoods Across Australia By Closing The Holes In Vita-Weat Biscuits

Is nothing sacred?

It’s a ritual as old as time itself.

Rushing into the kitchen after getting home from school, grabbing the Vita-Weat packet, slathering two biscuits with vegemite and butter, and pushing the two golden, crispy halves together, watching the vegemite and butter squeeze out of the biscuits’ holes like delicious, salty, yeast extract-y worms.

Don’t believe us? If it pleases the court, let us direct you to Exhibit A:

Kids of the 80s and 90s will remember it well. But kids of the 2010s – Sidebar: what do we call this generation? The 10s? We’ll workshop that – will be forever denied this opportunity, because Arnotts have officially closed the holes in Vita-Weat biscuits. The worms are no more. Is nothing sacred?

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The company is claiming that it’s a side effect of the change in wheat quality from season to season, as laid out in the following statement:  

“Vita-Weat has been made to the same recipe and using the same processes and the same baking oven for over 10 years,” news.com.au reports. “We use premium quality wholegrain wheat from farms across Australia including the Darling Downs, Moree, the Riverina and South Australia. Due to natural variation in wheat from season to season and farm to farm and the effect that the wheat has on the baking of the crispbread, the size of the holes in the biscuits can change. This can affect how easy it is to make Vita-Weat worms”.

But the cold, sobering facts of the matter is that the holes and their corresponding worm buddies are gone, and it’s unlikely they will come back again.

And the internet is not happy. “This country’s stuffed!” one Facebook post read. “We need a referendum for s**t like this to be included in the constitution. Stop messing with our snacks!”

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We wholeheartedly concur. Petition for iconic snacks to be enshrined in national law. A motion to protect the sacred nature of Tiny Teddies, Mint Slices, Iced Vovos and Vita-Weats.  

Please, please. Won’t somebody think of the children?

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