Thursday March 26th
Times per hour googled Coronavirus: 247. Nuisance calls to elderly neighbour to see if needs anything: 7. No of Uber-like texts from Volunteer Helpline calling self to arms: 0. Minutes spent opening hilarious viral videos and forwarding to everyone I know: 2,457. Times sniffed hyacinths to check if have lost sense of smell and have Coronavirus: 282. Minutes decluttering and reading classic literature: 0. Minutes staring at wall aghast with mouth open: 4,765. Calories: 8,765. Alcohol units: 12. Work done: 0. Exercise: 0. V. bad."
Thursday March 26th (today again)
8.45am Must stop reading diary and get ready for Zoom meeting. Ooh goody FaceTime: Tom, Shaz and Miranda...Will mute camera and quickly wash hair while Richard Finch is blathering intro.
Richard’s voice boomed out, “Bridget — for f***’s sake we can all see you in the shower. Charming as it is this is not appropriate behaviour in an apocalypse.
Tuesday March 24th
Look. Stop making such a fuss. Have always just wanted to watch telly in pyjamas eating ice cream.
So confusing that by doing nothing you’re doing your duty.
Must not moan or catastrophise but will be light of positive energy (ie, start drinking before Boris comes on).
Treat yourself to the full diary at The Times UK.