While you were sleeping...NYFW guests schlepped downtown to the Coach 1941 show at Hudson River Park to find moody lighting and a bunch of trashed old cars balanced on top of one another. What was this? Mad Max 5?
Designer Stuart Vevers swept the house clean - then let it get dirty again in the coolest way possible. Gone was last season's varsity innocence, and in its place: an edgy melange of '50s rockabilly, neo punk and '90s grunge.
Rivets, studs, fringing and tough-girl leather set the tone, which was anchored by brilliant "brothel creeper" shoes like the ones London Teddy boys used to wear, only exaggerated in their proportions. Coach's version comes with very high crepe soles, the uppers made from red velvet or studded leather - they're clearly going to be one of the the cult shoes of the season. (At this point, some of you will be scratching hour heads and saying, "Boots in summer?" but forget about logic - fashion's about magic; anyway America's spring is our autumn so they'll be perfect for Australia.)
These cult-boots-in-the-making were shown with the jacket shape du jour - the bomber, in camouflage, khaki, or embroidered satin or leather.
Prints ran from Elvis's head on shirts, to Coach's signature florals on dresses - but there was nothing sweet about them.
Sticking largely to a colour palette of black, green and wine, the new Coach girl wears her floral frock with serious attitude - sure, it might be sheer; you might even be able to see her pink satin shorts underneath it, but she's no pretty little lady.
She knows exactly what she wants (and how to get it): arm candy. For Coach's Spring '17 bag collections, that means small and structured, possibly bubble gum pink, certainly embellished to the hilt, and carried by a super-chunky metal chain strap. Get your motor running indeed.