The Duchess of York has admitted she once wished she had suffered from bulimia so she could be “as thin and beautiful” as her former sister-in-law Princess Diana.
Sarah Ferguson says she willed herself to get the eating disorder but did not have “that mental state”.
Speaking about her unhealthy relationship with food and recovery in a podcast (via The Telegraph), the 57-year-old said: “To wish you could have a mental illness to that level is a very serious place to get to.”
“The key is that I used to be a comfort-eater. I used to eat to put a band aid over my emotions and I squashed my feelings through food,” she revealed.
“I realised that actually it wasn’t a treat and in fact what I was doing was almost going to kill myself with the toxicity build-up within myself.”
“I was a binge-eater. I never could get bulimia because I just didn’t have that mental state to go that far, but I always wished I could.”
She says she had wanted to make herself as “beautiful and thin” as Princess Diana or Elle Macpherson.
“But that just shows you how dangerous and what place I got to. To wish you could have a mental illness to that level is a very serious place to get to. My body and mind was in that place, but I couldn’t actually act out to make myself sick.”
On her recovery, she said: “[I got better] By understanding that I had to go to the depths of the feelings within myself and really want to help.”
The Duchess is hoping to now be a “human bridge” for people battling with eating disorders.
She encourages anyone who is to go out and seek help, adding that she is finally much happier and healthier after overcoming hers.
