The fact of the matter is the female orgasm can range from amazing to lackluster or from a regular occurrence to a rarity, and what you feel and how intensely you feel it varies from woman to woman. We all have different buttons that need pressing to reach climax, but if you have never had an orgasm we are here to tell you that we have the science, tips and tricks to help you get there.
Here is your official guide to the female orgasm:
The science behind the female orgasm
Men and women have a very different experience when it comes to sex, something that science has proven. When it comes to women and orgasms, there are three main stages:
Our vagina is full of nerve endings, that when stimulated during foreplay, release a chemical in the brain called dopamine. Dopamine is the chemical that makes you feel amazing which is why plenty of stimulation of the downstairs area is an essential ingredient to your orgasm.
Let's get into the nitty gritty scientific details of the climax. It is the hypothalamus part of your brain (the area that controls body temperature, hunger, and sleep) that is responsible for your pleasurable experience during climax.
When you're reaching the Big O, your blood is flowing, your pupils are dilated and the dopamine being released in your brain is increasing every bit of stimulation your receiving from your partner.
The End Release
Just before you reach the finish line your brain is filled with extra dopamine and another happy hormone called serotonin. Basically, your brain is filled with a happy explosion - makes sense right?
Tips to achieve an orgasm
Here is a couple of things you can do to help achieve an orgasm with or without your partner:
Get familiar with yourself
Spend some time with yourself and notice where and how much pressure you're applying right before you climax. When you know where the climax button is you can guide your partner there.
Fantasising, talking dirty, touching each other or yourself, these are all ideal primers for a sexual encounter. It's a lot harder for a woman to orgasm when she's not in the mood, so spend time beforehand building that excitement.
Get into position
Some positions, like woman-on-top, make it far easier for girls to orgasm if you're having penetrative sex. If you're on top you can control the angle, depth, and speed and touch yourself at the same time. A good lesbian sex position is scissoring. This position comes in many variations, not just the stock standard one you see in porn, so have a look online and see which one speaks more to you and your partner. This position is the action of rubbing your clit against something else, which will feel amazing and may help you get that orgasm.
What does an orgasm feel like?
How do you know you've reached the Big O? First things first, women experience orgasms differently so the experience can vary from woman to woman. There are no set rules when it comes to the female orgasm!
In saying this there are broad feelings that most - if not all - women will feel when they orgasm:
- It is the peak of their sexual pleasure throughout the experience
- It is a sensation that is far different from the other sensations you felt during the encounter
- It feels like a release in built-up pressure
So whether you feel tremors, tingling in the toes or pleasure that goes in an out in waves, all are normal and unique to your orgasm.
Are there different types of orgasms?
The short answer is...Yes!
The main two types of orgasms are:
The clitoris is a bundle of nerve endings which is at the front of the female vulva and under the clitoral hood. The clitoris kind of feels like a tiny button which, if pressed correctly, will bring a woman to orgasm. Fun fact: the clitoris will swell and become more sensitive as you get more turned on.
A vaginal-stimulated orgasm is when you reach climax through stimulation of the vagina only. There are many theories as to how this actually works and researchers are split on the existence of the elusive G-spot. What we do know is that whether it's through clitoris stimulation or vaginal stimulation, your orgasm is going to feel equally as great.
There are also orgasms through stimulation of other body parts which aren't your vagina area (such as breasts, nipples or anus), exercise-induced orgasms and orgasms during sleep (yes, really).
Common issues stopping women from achieving orgasm
There are many factors that may affect orgasm, and the most common among them include:
- Hormone changes
- Not feeling aroused
- Certain medicines
- Fear or worry surrounding the sexual encounter
- Level of alcohol consumption
- Vaginal dryness
- No longer emotionally invested in your partner
- In a bad head space
Tips to overcome problems with not reaching orgasm
There is a laundry list of external, psychological or physical reasons when it comes to difficulty reaching an orgasm, so if you're consistently having trouble orgasming it's best you visit your GP to get to the bottom of why.
However, there are general lifestyle changes you could make that may improve your sex life:
- Reducing the amount of alcohol you drink (sorry)
- Regular exercise
- Quitting smoking (if you smoke cigarettes)
- Up your clitoris stimulation during masturbation or intercourse