We are well into the honeymoons now on Married At First Sight 2021, and so far they’re (almost) without chaos. Well, except for Bryce and Melissa, but more on that soon.
First we visit Alana and Jason, who have done the deed! I have to say it feels like these 2021 couples are getting down and dirty way earlier than previous couples, and I like it. Sexual liberation, right? They had a great night and Jason in particular seems to have left his brain under the covers and is grinning and floating about like a vague cloud. Cute.
Melissa and Bryce are not in a good way. Melissa is completely flat, and understandably – Bryce really put her through the ringer with that whole “you’re not ugly” comment. Not how you compliment a woman, my dude. He’s pissed (what??) because she asked him if he was there for the right reasons. Nothing irritates me more than a man turning an argument around on a woman. Stick to the topic at hand, Bryce! They do both resolve to try and move past it all, though.
Coco and Sam seem to be doing… ok? Coco is by far my favourite person on this season so far. She’s funny without being overbearing, loud in the best kind of way, all of that. Sam, while originally not into her personality, seems to be giving this relationship a crack which is good news.
He helps her overcome a bird fear and feed some emus, which is my worst nightmare and honestly, just let the woman run for the hills when she sees those beaky demons, ok? You won’t see me putting my hand anywhere near those things.
Afterward its their turn with the honesty box. Sam is asked what he likes and dislikes about Coco, and he fudges it all – he clumsily says he likes that she knows who she is, and then says her “extra” personality grates on him sometimes. What I really loved though was that Coco let it wash right over her and said “the one liners aren’t going anywhere, that’s part of who I am”. YES, GIRL. Owning yourself 2021.
Then – I honestly can’t believe this happened, guys. I cannot BELIEVE this is something a real human person said, but here we are. If it’s going to happen, it’ll happen on MAFS, right? Sam is asked what his ex would say about him, and after saying she’d probably say good things, he then divulges that he dumped her because, I shit you not, she didn’t have a curvy butt or big boobs.
The man dumped a woman, a woman he says he was otherwise attracted to, because she didn’t have boobs. Unbelievable. You couldn’t make this stuff up.
Coco is all of us hearing the words come out of Sam’s mouth.
She asks him what he thinks of her since she’s “straight up and down like a hot dog”. Which is how I’ll be describing my body from now on. He stumbles over his words and says she has curves in other places.
Anyway, Sam and Cam are paddleboarding around on a lake getting along. Joanne’s in a bad mood and is deeply uninterested in beach horse riding with her new husband, James – although he seems to be taking her mood in his stride, which is good I guess? Also beach horse riding sucks so big mood when Joanne just gives up and sits in the sand.
Meanwhile Bryce and Melissa go for a romantic picnic in what looks like a horse poo-filled field, dressed like they’re preparing to be abandoned in the snow for 15 years.
They’re supposed to be getting past the drama but end up firmly back in it, because Bryce tells Melissa how he cheated on a partner once. She maturely says while it’s not the best news, she won’t hold it against him, and he appreciates that. Are they going to mend their fences in the poo-filled field? It seems so. Even while dressed like that.
Bec and Jake are still a bit weird with each other after the non-kiss from earlier in their honeymoon. They share a very disgusting-looking bath which is way too small for two people, and talk things out.
In the end, they both agree that they’re a bit nervous and need to get to know each other a bit more to feel comfortable together.
The true love story, as we all know, is Booka and Brett so far. They are so loved up and cute and just EASY together, you know? They seem really well-suited and like they’re already best friends. Booka tells us she’s stoked.
Sam and Cam are the next couple to seal the deal, and seem to be getting closer and closer – she tells him about her cheating ex, etc. Joanne apologises to James for being in a bad mood, making him dinner and saying she just has trouble snapping out of it sometimes. Alana and Jason are having heaps of sex but Alana’s finding their conversation is kind of lacking. Uh oh.
Then Bec and Jake have a really, really intense conversation about his mental health struggles. He tells her that his tipping point came when he attempted to take his life, and was saved by his dad calling him. She then tells him she lost her Aunt to suicide as a child. It’s harrowing stuff but it’s also a real bonding moment for them, I think particularly for Bec who seems a bit nervous to let her guard down. She tells us she was so impressed by Jake sharing so honestly with her.
Things go sour with Sam and Cam, though. It’s their turn with the honesty box, and when Cam is asked if Sam is his usual type and he says no, she gets super mad. For some reason she decides that means he’s not in the experiment with an open mind, which is ridiculous?
He explains that while she isn’t his usual type, he’s giving it a go – the definition of having an open mind. He’s right, but Sam is completely unconvinced. The next question is worse – do you have an emotional connection with me. Sam says she does, Cam says he doesn’t. Sam then asks how he can have sex with her if he doesn’t have an emotional connection, and he says he can easily have sex without emotions. She takes offence to that, but it sounds like Cam considers an “emotional connection” to be a very deep experience, and he says he has *a* connection with Sam, just not a deep one yet.
I don’t know why I’m suddenly a Cam apologist but the guy seems to be here for the right reasons, and Sam wasn’t exactly being fair?
The next day things go from bad to worse. They sit down for a beer to patch things up, but Sam can’t let go of this idea that Cam slept with her without feeling anything for her. I don’t think that’s what he’s trying to say, but she’s clearly hurt by it and because of that, barely listens to him. Then HE gets frustrated and storms off. She’s crying, it’s all bad. I feel like she isn’t being fair to him but I also think she’s particularly sensitive to men who sleep around, and was a bit triggered maybe by Cam’s casual comment that he can have sex without feelings. Who do I think I am! The experts!
Melissa Mason is digital editor of marie claire. You can find her on Twitter and Instagram.
