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Is MAFS The Couple’s Therapy We Didn’t Know We Needed?

Watching show’s dysfunctional couples battling it out could do our own relationships a world of good
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Few Aussie couples can boast their love story began after sniffing each other’s T-shirts in a lab and sharing a first meal at their own wedding reception.

Watch Below: MAFS’ fans mock Hayley for her unsolicited relationship advice

But aside from unconventional first dates and a lot more emotional baggage, the on-screen marriages on hit show Married At First Sight might have more in common with off-screen relationships than we might think.

Watching the drama, tears and tantrums which play out between the MAFS contestants may actually help us identify some of the problems in our own relationships, according to psychologist Sabina Read.

“While MAFS is created primarily for entertainment, it makes sense that many viewers may see some of their own dynamics displayed between on-air couples,” she says.

“While watching a TV show can’t replace the rigours, benefits and personalised experience of couples therapy, it may be a catalyst for some couples to start a useful conversation about what they would like to be different in their own relationship.”

This week Jonethen Musulin revealed that the reason behind his excessive phone use during the show’s intimacy week – which led to his on-screen wife Connie Crayden storming out of the couple’s art class – was because his father had suffered a stroke.

“A lot of the so-called ‘instagramming’ was just me contacting my brothers, contacting my mum,” he told Hit Mid-North Coast’s Krysti and Bodge.

“I wasn’t really telling (Connie) what I was doing,” he continued. “She was just seeing me on my phone.”

While it’s unlikely many of us have fled a life drawing class over our partner’s alleged Instagram addiction, we’ve all been guilty of misreading situations.

“When I’m watching Married At First Sight, I can observe how someone might have a misunderstanding or an interpretation of rejection, when it actually wasn’t meant that way,” says psychotherapist and couple’s counselor Melissa Ferrari.

“Somebody might do something hastily in an angry moment which triggers their new spouse, and then later they’ll both be reflecting, walking away, doing whatever the couple does, and then they’re both scratching their heads thinking ‘what the hell just happened?’”.

The show also gives us an insight into how our pasts can influence how we see our partners, according to Ferrari.

Case in point Mishel Karen, whose history of unfaithful partners led to a wedding day meltdown after discovering her MAFS husband had been a cheater.  

“What we don’t think about when we’re in a relationship is that so many of us bring with us all of the relationships we’ve experienced in the past,” Ferrari says.

“We bring the teachers, the caregivers, the parents, previous marriages and everything we’ve experienced to our current relationships – it’s just the way the brain works.”

“And the takeaway I encourage people to think about is that were all experiencing the other person through the lens of our past, and sometimes what you perceive feels real because you’re experiencing, feeling and seeing it and the perception can often be wrong, even though we are perceiving things as correct.

“We need to have the ability to reflect and put a different slant on things.”

The show may not be a substitute for one-on-one marriage counselling, but if you start to see your own relationship woes playing out on screen during this week’s commitment ceremony, maybe it’s time to call in the experts.

Few Aussie couples can boast their love story began after sniffing each other’s T-shirts in a lab and sharing a first meal at their own wedding reception.

Watch Below: MAFS’ fans mock Hayley for her unsolicited relationship advice

Few Aussie couples can boast their love story began after sniffing each other’s T-shirts in a lab and sharing a first meal at their own wedding reception.

Watch Below: MAFS’ fans mock Hayley for her unsolicited relationship advice

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