MarieClaire
  • News
  • Fashion
  • Beauty
  • Lifestyle
  • Career
  • Bridal
  • marie hair
  • Gifts
  • The Edit
  • Discount Codes
MarieClaire
  • News
  • Fashion
  • Beauty
  • Lifestyle
  • Career
  • Bridal
  • marie hair
  • Gifts
  • The Edit
  • Discount Codes
Subscribe
  1. Home
  2. Lifestyle

Micro-Cheating Is The New Kind Of Infidelity That You Need To Know About

Do any of these signs sound familiar? - by Lucy Bode
  • 19 Jan 2018
Micro-Cheating Is The New Kind Of Infidelity That You Need To Know About

As far as infidelity is concerned, we’re all aware of the common culprits: physical cheating (literally doing the dirty) and the emotional kind (an affair of the heart.) Now, there’s a whole new term rocking the relationship pool, and this one is arguably the most destructive of all: Micro-cheating.

According to psychologist Melanie Shilling, this occurs when you engage inappropriately with someone other than your S.O. It’s a series of seemingly small actions that don’t necessarily cross the line but it’s coming pretty damn close.

Lying about your single status, sliding into the DM’s and texting another person behind your partner’s back are all examples.

Usersub GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

“You might be engaging in micro-cheating if you secretly connect with another guy/girl on social media; if you share private jokes; if you downplay the seriousness of a relationship to another guy/girl; or if you enter their name under a code in your phone,” psychologist Melanie Schilling tells HuffPost Australia.

“These are all signs that you are conducting a ‘covert flirtation’ and keeping it from your partner.” 

But when it comes to this behaviour it’s important to note it’s the intention behind it that matters most.

“Secrecy is the tell-tale sign,” Melanie says. “Micro-cheating is a subtle betrayal and it needs secrecy to fuel its fire.”

So, how do you sus if it’s happening to you?

“If your partner is having private conversations or online chats that he/she quickly shuts down when you enter the room; if they are reaching out to an ex to mark an anniversary or other significant shared, intimate event; perhaps they are offering compliments to other guys/girls that they don’t say to you; or maybe they meet up with someone of the opposite sex under the guise of a business meeting, when you discover no business was actually done… these are all signs to look out for,” Melanie says.

The Office Dislike GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

Because micro-cheating is subtle in nature, confronting your partner can often put you at risk of coming across as jealous or possessive.

But if you’re sure your concerns are founded, it’s important to speak up. 

"If this is an unconscious habit your partner has developed over time, due to previous partners allowing it, then you have the opportunity to put your foot down and set some new rules,” Melanie explains.

"However, if this is something they are actively choosing to do, and they do not change when you ask them to, perhaps it's time to consider if this relationship is good for your well-being."

This article originally appeared on Women's Health.

  • Lifestyle
  • Relationship advice

Subscribe to Marie Claire-+ save!

Subscribe to marie claire

Subscribe Now
Subscribe to Marie Claire

Subscribe to Marie Claire-+ save!

Subscribe to marie claire

Subscribe Now
Subscribe to Marie Claire

Recommended to you

MAFS' Aleks and Ivan exchange wedding vows
Watch 4:43

MAFS' Aleks and Ivan exchange wedding vows

{headline}

{headline}

6 Online Dating Alternatives To Tinder For Every Personality

6 Online Dating Alternatives To Tinder For Every Personality

We Need To Talk About Sex On The First Date

We Need To Talk About Sex On The First Date

I'm 35 & My Boyfriend Is 25. Surprisingly, It Works.

I'm 35 & My Boyfriend Is 25. Surprisingly, It Works.

The Newly Single's Guide To Dating Again

The Newly Single's Guide To Dating Again

{headline}

{headline}

Dolly Alderton on Her Debut Novel and the Gendered Politics of Modern Love

Dolly Alderton on Her Debut Novel and the Gendered Politics of Modern Love

Three Women Share What It Was Like Being Single In Their 30s

Three Women Share What It Was Like Being Single In Their 30s

Women Are Sharing The Most Ridiculous Excuses Men Gave Them For Cheating On Twitter

Women Are Sharing The Most Ridiculous Excuses Men Gave Them For Cheating On Twitter

{headline}

{headline}

Shout Out to my Ex

Shout Out to my Ex

Three Women On The Secret's They'll Never Tell

Three Women On The Secret's They'll Never Tell

This Is The Reason People Cheat On Their Partners

This Is The Reason People Cheat On Their Partners

Why Do People Cheat?

Why Do People Cheat?

Caution: Sneating Is The Latest Dating Trend That Everyone Is Talking About

Caution: Sneating Is The Latest Dating Trend That Everyone Is Talking About

Relationship Expert Says There's Two Different Types Of Cheating

Relationship Expert Says There's Two Different Types Of Cheating

What Is Micro-Cheating And Are you Guilty?

What Is Micro-Cheating And Are you Guilty?

MarieClaire
  • About Us
  • Discount Codes
  • Contact Us
  • Terms and Conditions
  • Privacy Policy
MarieClaire Magazine Subscribe
  • About Us
  • Discount Codes
  • Contact Us
  • Terms and Conditions
  • Privacy Policy

Brands

  • Beauty Crew
  • Home Beautiful
  • Elle
  • Who

Our Network

  • Better Homes and Gardens
  • BHG Shop
  • beautyheaven
  • New Idea food
  • New Idea
  • Girlfriend
  • That’s Life
  • Practical Parenting
  • All Recipes
  • Perth Now
  • The West Australian
  • 7Plus
  • 7mate
  • 7NEWS
  • 7Sport
  • Sunrise
  • Starts at 60
  • Hard to Find
© 2022 Are Media PTY LTD
All products are independently selected, tested or recommended by our team of experts.If you buy something, we may earn an affiliate commission.
Get more from Marie Claire

Magazine Subscription Offer

Subscribe to Marie Claire-+ save!

Shop This Offer
Subscribe to Marie Claire