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Nick Cave’s Open Letter About Losing His Son Will Make You Cry

“If we love, we grieve. That’s the deal. That’s the pact.”
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Australian musician Nick Cave has opened up about his grief after the loss of his son Arthur, who fell from a cliff in Brighton in 2015 aged 15.

Responding to a letter from a fan about communicating with lost relatives, Cave revealed he still felt the presence of his son.

“I feel the presence of my son, all around, but he may not be there. I hear him talk to me, parent me, guide me, though he may not be there. He visits Susie [his mother] in her sleep regularly, speaks to her, comforts her, but he may not be there,” Cave wrote on his fan site The Red Hand Files.

In the heart-wrenching letter, Cave shared his thoughts on grief: “It seems to me, that if we love, we grieve. That’s the deal. That’s the pact. Grief and love are forever intertwined. Grief is the terrible reminder of the depths of our love and, like love, grief is non-negotiable. There is a vastness to grief that overwhelms our minuscule selves. We are tiny, trembling clusters of atoms subsumed within grief’s awesome presence.”

The poetic piece has touched thousands of people and was shared on Instagram by actress Marta Dusseldorp, who wrote: “You are a voice in the darkness of being human.”

Following Arthur’s tragic death in 2015, the family released a statement saying, “Our son Arthur died on Tuesday evening. He was our beautiful, happy loving boy. We ask that we be given the privacy our family needs to grieve at this difficult time.”

In the letter, Cave thanked the fan for the “beautiful question” and signed it “With love, Nick.”

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