As for the exact moment that broke her marriage with Sam, Phoebe says there isn't one. Instead, she explains the situation through the analogy of a frog in boiling water.
“I couldn’t give you an exact moment. All I can say … is that analogy of the frog. You throw a frog in boiling water it’s going to scream. If you turn the heat up slowly, it stays there and it just cooks alive and that’s – little things started adding up,” she told Mia Freedman.
“And I wish, I wish I’d listened to what my body was telling me. I became extremely anxious after having my daughter, after having back surgery, to the point where I couldn’t drive. I was just afraid of driving. And that’s something that was never part of my personality. I couldn’t drive on a highway without feeling as though I wasn’t in control. And I think those were symptoms of what I was starting to go through emotionally and mentally. I was starting to – I felt – lose myself.”
Sam Burgess has kept fairly quiet on the details of his marriage breakdown, but his recent appearance on SAS Australia proved quite telling, as he admitted to his affair for the first time publicly.
”I don’t think I was the greatest husband at times. I embarrassed my wife. I had an affair with a girl – a woman in Melbourne. Yeah. It’s true. I was away on tour. Regretful that it happened.”
“Would have been a tough place for Phoebe to be,” he continued.
After taking the time to process the situation, Phoebe made the decision to contact the woman at the centre of the 2018 sexting scandal.
"I'm a journalist by trade. I did my own digging," Phoebe told Mamamia. "I wanted to get to the bottom of what was actually going on here. [The conversation] was hard for me. But she was a lovely girl."
In doing so, she was able to take a step back and see clearly for the first time in a long time. According to The Australian, these sporting clubs have become experts in mitigating any and all PR crises involving their players. In hindsight, Phoebe now realises that she had been sucked into the honey trap, blindly swallowing the story that she'd been fed — Sam was the real victim here. Now, she can see that the woman in the eye of the storm was the real victim.
"She didn't go to the police first, she didn't go to the media [first]; she went to the club because she loved the game. And she hoped that there would be something in place to reprimand that player and to make sure the wife knows," Phoebe said.
"She was being painted as somebody who wrecked my family. And I wanted to tell her that was not the case, and that it wasn't her fault."