Taylor Swift is celebrating turning 30 in one of the only ways she knows how – giving fans a deep dive into her personal life in her most candid interview yet. In an essay titled, ’30 Things I Learned Before Turning 30′, for her Elle US cover story, Swift opens up about her family, fears and feuds that have characterised her career.
“According to my birth certificate, I turn 30 this year,” she writes. “It’s weird because part of me still feels 18 and part of me feels 283, but the actual age I currently am is 29. I’ve heard people say that your thirties are ‘the most fun!’ So I’ll definitely keep you posted on my findings on that when I know. But until then, I thought I’d share some lessons I’ve learned before reaching 30 because it’s 2019 and sharing is caring.”
Below, we’ve rounded up some of the biggest revelations from the singer’s open letter.
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On Her Feud With Kim Kardashian And Kanye West, And On Being Called A ‘Snake’
For context: Kanye West used Taylor’s name and likeness in his Famous song and video clip, which he said Taylor had given permission for. Taylor came out and said she didn’t, which Kanye then proved was a lie with a recorded phone call between the two. Kim called Taylor a snake in a Snapchat video that later went viral, which prompted Kim’s fans to flood Taylor’s social with snake emojis.
Taylor reflects, “In my experience, I’ve come to see that bullies want to be feared and taken seriously. A few years ago, someone started an online hate campaign by calling me a snake on the internet. The fact that so many people jumped on board with it led me to feeling lower than I’ve ever felt in my life, but I can’t tell you how hard I had to keep from laughing every time my 63-foot inflatable cobra named Karyn appeared onstage in front of 60,000 screaming fans.
“It’s the Stadium Tour equivalent of responding to a troll’s hateful Instagram comment with “lol.” It would be nice if we could get an apology from people who bully us, but maybe all I’ll ever get is the satisfaction of knowing I could survive it and thrive in spite of it.”
She added: “Grow a backbone, trust your gut, and know when to strike back. Be like a snake—only bite if someone steps on you.”
RELATED: Taylor Swift Finds An Unlikely Ally Amid Her Feud With Kim Kardashian
She Was “Terrified” To Go on Tour Because Of Safety Concerns
Swift explains that after the devastating Manchester Arena bombing and the Las Vegas concert shooting, “I was completely terrified to go on tour this time because I didn’t know how we were going to keep 3 million fans safe over seven months. There was a tremendous amount of planning, expense, and effort put into keeping my fans safe.”
“My fear of violence has continued into my personal life,” she goes on to write. “I carry QuikClot army grade bandage dressing, which is for gunshot or stab wounds. Websites and tabloids have taken it upon themselves to post every home address I’ve ever had online. You get enough stalkers trying to break into your house and you kind of start prepping for bad things.”
Sometimes Relationships Are Meant To Be Outgrown
“Something about ‘we’re in our young twenties!’ hurls people together into groups that can feel like your chosen family,” Swift writes. “And maybe they will be for the rest of your life. Or maybe they’ll just be your comrades for an important phase, but not forever. It’s sad but sometimes when you grow, you outgrow relationships. You may leave behind friendships along the way, but you’ll always keep the memories.”
Her Mother Is Battling Cancer Again
“Both of my parents have had cancer, and my mum is now fighting her battle with it again,” Swift tells. “It’s taught me that there are real problems and then there’s everything else. My mum’s cancer is a real problem. I used to be so anxious about daily ups and downs. I give all of my worry, stress, and prayers to real problems now.”
There Is Never A “Quick Fix” When It Comes To Body Image
“I worked hard to retrain my brain that a little extra weight means curves, shinier hair, and more energy,” she said. “I think a lot of us push the boundaries of dieting, but taking it too far can be really dangerous. There is no quick fix. I work on accepting my body every day.”
Taylor also admits she “loves” vitamins. “Vitamins make me feel so much better!” she shared. “I take L-theanine, which is a natural supplement to help with stress and anxiety. I also take magnesium for muscle health and energy.”
WATCH: We Weren’t Ready For Taylor Swift’s Surprise Appearance at the Golden Globes.
This article originally appeared on InStyle Australia.
