LIFE & CULTURE

This Is Why Tinder Is Making You Miserable

Think that matching with someone is a sign of success on Tinder? Think again.

A new study has confirmed all of your worst fears about Tinder: men are swiping right on every profile they see as a “game”, while women are agonising about who to choose, leaving them left out in the cold.

Anecdotally, the fairer sex has known this to be true since the app first crawled out of the primordial ooze – sorry, we mean launched – in 2012. An infamous New York magazine profile of the four most popular people on dating websites featured a man who developed a hack that guaranteed him the most matches: Never. Swiping Left.

“If he were to send a message to [a girl called] Allison on a Sunday, Monday, or Tuesday, it would read: Hey there Miss Allison. What kind of trouble did you get into this weekend? :),” the story reported. ““That’s exactly what I do, every f*cking time,” he says, laughing. For Wednesday: Hey there Miss Allison. What sort of trouble are you getting into this week? 🙂 Thursday or Friday: What kind of trouble are you getting into this weekend? 🙂 And if it’s Saturday: What kind of trouble have you been getting into? :)”

Charming stuff. A recent study in the UK, reported on The Daily Mail, has pretty much confirmed that men are using Tinder like some sick, sadistic game. Matching with someone is no longer an indication that they are interested, with men swiping right on everyone they see. The kicker, the study revealed, was all in the messaging.

Only 7% of men will send a message, compared with almost a quarter of women. Women also agonise over what to send in their first message, the study revealed, but when they make the first move their messages are often left unanswered. It’s a perilous catch 22: don’t message and risk never capitalising on the match, or make the first move and get left out on the cold.

Tinder. If men are treating it like a game, and it looks like a game, walks like a game and talks like a game, then maybe it just might be a game. One that women just can’t win.

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