While the frothy, enjoyable story of a workaholic wedding planner (Lopez) falling for an engaged paediatrician (Matthew McConaughey) is still extremely enjoyable twenty years on, especially over a carton of ice-cream, there are still parts of its light-on plot that irk me to this day.
1. When Mary Stays To Rescue Her Shoe
Let’s start with the meet-cute. I know the idea is that Mary’s heels being Gucci slingbacks are the reason she’s not willing to leave one wedged into a manhole, but come on. Not only is she hunched in the middle of a busy San Francisco street trying to wrench the thing out of the ground, but a dumpster is careening toward her – something that will definitely kill her on impact, but will most likely not even affect the shoe, and she can’t let it go? Even if it did hit the shoe, just take it to a shoe repair store! Surely any damage is nothing a little professional cleaning and re-heeling can’t fix.
2. Mary’s Home Life
Early on, we get a glimpse of Mary’s chaotic lifestyle – firmly centred around her career, she basically works well into the night, then heads home to clinically eat some dinner, watch TV and then tuck herself into bed. It’s meant to paint a picture of a woman who is living the most controlled existence ever, and I get it – Mary is self-controlled to the point where she can’t find love! Or whatever. But honestly, the most offensive part was her getting into pressed sheets, folding them carefully on top of herself, with PERFECT HAIR. Ridiculous. Even the most organised person alive sleeps like a dishevelled werewolf, fact.
3. How She Got Her Hand Stuck On The Statue Penis
I know super glue. Sure, if you put heaps all over the outside of that cement penis, you’d get your hand stuck to it – if you held it there for like, ten full minutes. But just a little residue? That’s not gonna glue your hand to the statue, my friends.
4. The Ease In Which Steve And Fran End Their Relationship
Sorry, but up until they started planning their wedding it seemed like Steve and Fran were pretty into building a life together. Obviously, relationships can fizzle over time but over the course of a couple of months? I’m sceptical. Not to mention, they split up on the day of their very big, public wedding and after what seems like zero prior conversations around fixing their relationship or working things out.
5. No One Is Out Here Picking ‘I Honestly Love You’ As A Wedding Song
Come on, guys.