Amy Schumer’s highly anticipated memoir, ‘Girl With The Lower Back Tattoo’ has finally been released and the comedian has delivered plenty of never-before-known facts about the star.
While not pegged as an autobiography, but rather a collection of essays from her life as a “daughter, sister, friend, comedian, actor, girlfriend, one night stand, employee, employer, lover, fighter, hater, pasta eater and wine drinker.”
Here are some of the most interesting things we learned from the book:
1. She was in an abusive relationship
It proceeded to get worse and worse, and I started escaping the apartment whenever I could. I’d go to Starbucks, lock myself in the bathroom, and sit on the floor and cry. I knew I should go back to the East Coast, but I thought no one would ever love me as much as he did. I believed he was just as passionate about me as I was about him, and that if I did a better job of not making him mad, we’d be fine. I really felt he loved me. And I really loved him.
I think somewhere in the course of our relationship, I started to confuse his anger and aggression for passion and love. I actually started to think that real love was supposed to look like that. The more you yelled at each other, the more you loved each other. The more physical and demeaning it got, the more you were really getting through to each other. And the more I was willing to stand by him, the more he’d understand I truly loved him and that we should be together forever.
One day she says “he grabbed a huge butcher knife from a drawer. And that’s when I was sure he was going to kill me.”
While she managed to get out of the relationship, she wants other women to know, “It can happen to anyone”.
“I’m telling this story because I’m a strong-ass woman, not someone most people picture when they think ‘abused woman… You’re not alone if it’s happening to you, and you’re not exempt if it hasn’t happened to you yet.”
2. Her mother left her father for her best friend’s father
Amy explained that one day she came home to find her mother extremely distraught, before telling her she had fallen in love with Amy’s best friend’s father.
Because she couldn’t communicate vocally, she had to sign it to me. Since she is a teacher of the deaf, we all know a good amount of sign language in my family. Slowly, her hands trembling, she rose and signed to me, ‘I am leaving your father. Lou and I have fallen in love with each other.’ I signed the world, ‘again’ because I needed her to repeat herself. Again she signed, ‘I am leaving your father. Lou and I have fallen in love with each other.’
3. One of her best sexual encounters was a one-night stand
Schumer revealed she has slept with 28 men, and one of the best nights of her life was actually a one-night stand with a guy she met on a flight to Tampa, Florida.
“All the blood rushed to my vagina. I never ever talk to people on airplanes but I turned right to him. ‘Hi, I’m Amy.’ He smiled, revealing a tiny gap between his front teeth. I love a gap more than anything on a man. ‘Hi, I’m Sam,’ he said, in an English accent.”
The pair then met up later that night after Amy’s show, and she says there was “no question” what they were there to do.
“We both had the same goal in mind: to devour each other. Ewwwwww, I know, sorry. But it’s true. It felt incredible to have this heavenly being take me in his arms and make me feel both wanted and beautiful. The sex was perfect. He was perfect. We were both in ecstasy… We were both very giving. When we were finally finished, I said it was such a pleasure meeting him and wished him good luck in all his endeavors. He couldn’t believe I didn’t want him to stay. He couldn’t believe it so much that he stayed and we had sex at least three more times. We kissed goodbye when the sun had risen and I went to sleep with the biggest smile on my face, thinking, Thank you.
4. She met boyfriend Ben Hanisch on a dating app
Amy was introduced to a new dating app speciaifally for creative people (which she doesn’t name but some are suggesting is Raya) by friend and Trainwreck costar Vanessa Bayer. She liked a few men on there, one of whom was Ben Hanish.
“We sent each other very simple hellos and short, funny messages,” she writes. The pair decided to meet up a few weeks later A few weeks later, the two met for the first time. “We smiled at each other and in that moment, everything felt right,” she writes.
5. She has a criminal past
A teenage Amy and her sister Kim were arrested for stealing Bloomingdale’s. The took a number of items including a leather fedora, Seven jeans, a tank top with a bejeweled dollar sign, and a leopard-print onesie.
“Now that I’m all grown up and no longer driving up the price of bad tchotchkes in Old Sacramento, I’ve graduated on to the next-level hustle — making people laugh,” she writes.
