Gwyneth Paltrow wants you to put crystal eggs in your ‘yoni’

Better sex is just a jade egg away…

It’s been a while since we heard anything truly Goopy from Gwyneth – but now the star has come out with the most outrageous idea we’ve had from her yet.

The concept? Storing jade or rose quartz eggs in your – ahem – vagina. The reason? Better sex, better energy, better hormones. The proof? ….

Basically, we’re called to do it because Gwyn’s friend/beauty guru/actress Shiva Rose say so. And because it’s “the strictly guarded secret of Chinese royalty in antiquity – queens and concubines used them to stay in shape for emperors,” according to Shiva’s interview on Goop. In 2017, if you’re not basing your health practices on ancient concubines, you’re doing life wrong.

Shiva explains: “Jade eggs can help cultivate sexual energy, increase orgasm, balance the cycle, stimulate key reflexology around vaginal walls, tighten and tone, prevent uterine prolapse, increase control of the whole perineum and bladder, develop and clear chi pathways in the body, intensify feminine energy and invigorate our life force.”

Shiva’s qualifications aren’t covered in the Goop article, although she did once attend “a beautiful women’s forest gathering in northern California – we did a jade egg ceremony out under the redwoods,” – so you can’t say she’s not experienced.

Shiva also practices the art of inserting crystal eggs where – most people would argue – crystal eggs do not belong on a daily basis, and can personally report all the above benefits. However, she says it takes around a month of daily use to feel any results. was selling the eggs on their website, but – wait for it – they’re already sold out.

Related stories