MarieClaire
  • News
  • Fashion
  • Beauty
  • Lifestyle
  • Career
  • Bridal
  • Podcasts
  • Beyond Beauty
  • Video
MarieClaire
  • News
  • Fashion
  • Beauty
  • Lifestyle
  • Career
  • Bridal
  • Podcasts
  • Beyond Beauty
  • Video
MAFS' Aleks and Ivan exchange wedding vows
Watch 4:43

MAFS' Aleks and Ivan exchange wedding vows

{headline}

{headline}

This Powerful Mural Is Painting A Picture Of Australia's Vulnerable And Voiceless Children

This Powerful Mural Is Painting A Picture Of Australia's Vulnerable And Voiceless Children

It's Time To Honour The Women Who Have Lost Their Lives To Violence This Year

It's Time To Honour The Women Who Have Lost Their Lives To Violence This Year

Public Outcry Over Man's "50 Shades of Grey Defence" For Killing Girlfriend

Public Outcry Over Man's "50 Shades of Grey Defence" For Killing Girlfriend

It's Time to Make Coercive Control A Crime

It's Time to Make Coercive Control A Crime

{headline}

{headline}

Margaret Qualley And Shia LaBeouf Split Amid FKA Twigs Abuse Allegations

Margaret Qualley And Shia LaBeouf Split Amid FKA Twigs Abuse Allegations

FKA Twigs Sues Shia LaBeouf For Alleged Emotional, Mental And Physical Abuse

FKA Twigs Sues Shia LaBeouf For Alleged Emotional, Mental And Physical Abuse

Angelina Jolie Has Some Advice For Women Who Fear Being Abused During The Holiday Season

Angelina Jolie Has Some Advice For Women Who Fear Being Abused During The Holiday Season

{headline}

{headline}

“She Was Going To Fight For Her Babies To The End”: Hannah Clarke Honoured In marie claire’s Women Of The Year List

“She Was Going To Fight For Her Babies To The End”: Hannah Clarke Honoured In marie claire’s Women Of The Year List

A New Coercive Control Law Could See Perpetrators Jailed For Up To 10 Years

A New Coercive Control Law Could See Perpetrators Jailed For Up To 10 Years

The Terrifying Rise Of Domestic Violence In Isolation

The Terrifying Rise Of Domestic Violence In Isolation

Why kickass activist Khadija Gbla convinced Australia to embrace her

Why kickass activist Khadija Gbla convinced Australia to embrace her

Why Women Will Feel The Impact Of The Coronavirus For Longer

Why Women Will Feel The Impact Of The Coronavirus For Longer

'Glee' Star Melissa Benoist Reveals She Was A Victim Of Domestic Violence

'Glee' Star Melissa Benoist Reveals She Was A Victim Of Domestic Violence

Pauline Hanson Says Women Make Up DV & Is Not Fit To Chair Family Law Inquiry

Pauline Hanson Says Women Make Up DV & Is Not Fit To Chair Family Law Inquiry

  1. Home
  2. News

This Is Why Lote Tuqiri’s Response To Ben Barba’s Sacking Is So Wrong

His sympathy is completely misplaced - by Alley Pascoe
  • 07 Feb 2019
This Is Why Lote Tuqiri’s Response To Ben Barba’s Sacking Is So Wrong
Getty

I didn’t grow up in a religious family, but I was raised with a single belief: Jonathan Thurston is god. 

After moving to Townsville as a teenager, I’ve been a Cowboys supporter and have cheered them on in the NRL competition. And I was cheering last week when they sacked Ben Barba for domestic violence. 

On Tuesday, Barba was banned from the NRL for life for assaulting his partner and the mother of his four children, Ainslie Currie, at the Townsville casino on Australia Day. The NRL Integrity Unit reviewed CCTV footage showing a physical altercation between the couple before they deregistered him as a player.

Ben Barba

Ainslie Currie with Ben Barba at the 2012 Dally M awards.

Getty

In response to the shameful act, former NRL player Lote Tuqiri tweeted: “Say what you want about #BenBarba but today he’s been stripped of something he really loved doing and one of the things he’d be most passionate about. I feel sad for him today! I hope he can find something that fills that void.”

Lote Tuqiri on Twitter

Tuqiri’s initial reaction wasn’t one of disgust at Barba or sympathy for Currie, it was one of pity and encouragement for a man who allegedly threw rocks at the mother of his four little girls. 

Why are people so quick to sympathise with men who bash women? 

When a footy player assaults a woman in Australia, the response is so often “what about his career and his livelihood.” 

When a woman is raped or murdered in Australia, the response is so often “not all men.” Our sympathy is completely misplaced. 

How about instead of worrying about fragile male egos, we think about the women who have been bruised, bloodied and murdered at the hands of men? 

This isn’t the first time Barba has been accused of violence. In 2013, rumours circulated on social media that he had assaulted Currie, but she denied the allegations at the time. Earlier that year he was put on welfare watch after he drunkenly abused a teammate and had a “nasty spat” with Currie, who was heavily pregnant at the time.

Instead of “feeling sad” for an abuser with a history of violence, drug abuse and gambling problems, Tuqiri should have felt for Currie and her kids. They’re the ones hurting. They’re the ones affected by Barba’s hideous actions. 

Barba wasn’t “stripped of something he really loved doing,” he was held accountable for his disgusting behaviour. 

No one forced him to abuse his partner. He made that choice. 

Andrew Moore on Twitter

When called out for his inconsiderate tweet, Tuqiri replied: “Can I just say I am not condoning anything that Ben has done. Insensitive yes! And I agree with the sanctions the NRL handed down and it’s never been ok to be violent towards women. I really just hope from a well being point of view his partner, his family and Ben himself are okay.”

He continued: “I deplore the violence! I feel sorry for the guy who can’t play a game he loves anymore.”

Lote Tuqiri on Twitter

Not once did Tuqiri say Ainslie Currie’s name. He was too busy “feeling sorry” for the bloke who was caught on camera attacking her.

A Twitter user with the handle @PhilGould15 (not the real Phil Gould) had the perfect response to Tuqiri: “Bang on Lote. It’s a sad day when a bloke can’t be in a highly coveted job where he’s a role model to kids just because he’s a degenerate gambler and a domestic abuser.”

Phil Gould on Twitter

Violence against women is unacceptable. Our thoughts are with Currie and her kids. 

If you or anyone you know needs help or advice, contact 1800 RESPECT on 1800 737 732 or Lifeline on 13 11 14. 

  • News
  • Crime
  • Stress
  • Health
Alley Pascoe
Alley Pascoe
Alley Pascoe is marie claire’s Acting Features Editor and resident country music fan. She spends her days interviewing inspirational women, including career highlights Kasey Chambers, Serena Williams and Julia Roberts (for seven minutes on the phone).

Save up to 39% + chance to WIN*-*Conditions apply

When you subscribe to marie claire.

Subscribe Now
Save up to 39% + chance to WIN*

Save up to 39% + chance to WIN*-*Conditions apply

When you subscribe to marie claire.

Subscribe Now
Save up to 39% + chance to WIN*

Recommended to you

MAFS' Aleks and Ivan exchange wedding vows
Watch 4:43

MAFS' Aleks and Ivan exchange wedding vows

{headline}

{headline}

This Powerful Mural Is Painting A Picture Of Australia's Vulnerable And Voiceless Children

This Powerful Mural Is Painting A Picture Of Australia's Vulnerable And Voiceless Children

It's Time To Honour The Women Who Have Lost Their Lives To Violence This Year

It's Time To Honour The Women Who Have Lost Their Lives To Violence This Year

Public Outcry Over Man's "50 Shades of Grey Defence" For Killing Girlfriend

Public Outcry Over Man's "50 Shades of Grey Defence" For Killing Girlfriend

It's Time to Make Coercive Control A Crime

It's Time to Make Coercive Control A Crime

{headline}

{headline}

Margaret Qualley And Shia LaBeouf Split Amid FKA Twigs Abuse Allegations

Margaret Qualley And Shia LaBeouf Split Amid FKA Twigs Abuse Allegations

FKA Twigs Sues Shia LaBeouf For Alleged Emotional, Mental And Physical Abuse

FKA Twigs Sues Shia LaBeouf For Alleged Emotional, Mental And Physical Abuse

Angelina Jolie Has Some Advice For Women Who Fear Being Abused During The Holiday Season

Angelina Jolie Has Some Advice For Women Who Fear Being Abused During The Holiday Season

{headline}

{headline}

“She Was Going To Fight For Her Babies To The End”: Hannah Clarke Honoured In marie claire’s Women Of The Year List

“She Was Going To Fight For Her Babies To The End”: Hannah Clarke Honoured In marie claire’s Women Of The Year List

A New Coercive Control Law Could See Perpetrators Jailed For Up To 10 Years

A New Coercive Control Law Could See Perpetrators Jailed For Up To 10 Years

The Terrifying Rise Of Domestic Violence In Isolation

The Terrifying Rise Of Domestic Violence In Isolation

Why kickass activist Khadija Gbla convinced Australia to embrace her

Why kickass activist Khadija Gbla convinced Australia to embrace her

Why Women Will Feel The Impact Of The Coronavirus For Longer

Why Women Will Feel The Impact Of The Coronavirus For Longer

'Glee' Star Melissa Benoist Reveals She Was A Victim Of Domestic Violence

'Glee' Star Melissa Benoist Reveals She Was A Victim Of Domestic Violence

Pauline Hanson Says Women Make Up DV & Is Not Fit To Chair Family Law Inquiry

Pauline Hanson Says Women Make Up DV & Is Not Fit To Chair Family Law Inquiry

MarieClaire
  • About Us
  • Subscribe Today
  • Contact Us
  • Terms and Conditions
  • Privacy Policy
  • About Us
  • Subscribe Today
  • Contact Us
  • Terms and Conditions
  • Privacy Policy

Brands

  • Beauty Crew
  • Home Beautiful
  • Instyle
  • Who

Our Network

  • Better Homes and Gardens
  • BHG Shop
  • New Idea food
  • New Idea
  • Girlfriend
  • That’s Life
  • Practical Parenting
  • All Recipes
  • Perth Now
  • The West Australian
  • 7Plus
  • Airtasker
  • 7NEWS
  • SocietyOne
  • Health Engine
  • Starts at 60
© 2021 Are Media PTY LTD
Get more from Marie Claire

Magazine Subscription Offer

Save up to 39% + chance to WIN*-*Conditions apply

Shop This Offer
Save up to 39% + chance to WIN*