It’s that time of year again, Gwyneth Paltrow and her erratic gift guidance is in full force giving us the giggles—and potentially some present ideas—just in time for the holidays.
Of course, Goop’s extensive Christmas gift guide arrived back in November. Not only was it somewhat unattainable to the regular folk, but it was perfectly timed with the silly season’s delayed delivery times.
But now, Paltrow is far from finished with her philanthropic efforts by offering gift suggestions for our favourite famous faces.
When it comes to holiday etiquette and hosting, Paltrow is up there with the best. In a new video on the topic, she advised Goop Instagram followers on which gifts to get the plethora of celebrities in your life.
First off the rank was Adele, who Paltrow prescribed some ‘DTF Pills‘, which are a supplement to “support women’s sexual desire, arousal and mood” as per the Goop website. As for whether they’ll work as well as those jade eggs, it’s still open for public opinion.
Next on Paltrow’s naughty or nice list was late night talk show host Stephen Colbert, whom she believes would benefit from Goop’s iconic ‘This Smells Like My Orgasm‘ Candle.
Paltrow couldn’t help play Saint Nicholas without mentioning what she’d gift new couple Kim Kardashian and Pete Davidson. But what does she recommend for them? Well, a three-pronged BDSM toy that oddly resemble Wolverine claws, of course.
And last but not least, the former actress made sure to wrap up a present for Taylor Swift. At first, she considers gifting the musician a red cashmere scarf to replace the one she ‘lost’ while dating Jake Gyllenhaal, before she ultimately settled on a vibrator.
As for what other gifts are on offer, this year’s Goop gift guide sees them encouraging fans to spurge on gifts like an AUD $50,000 pastel-hued jungle gym for their children—who are sure to appreciate the luxury purchase—as well as an AUD $14,000 sled by Chanel, an AUD $6,700 in-person class to learn how to make a pair of Air Jordan sneakers, a subscription to ‘psychic school’ and our favourite, Oshēn’s 12-pack of frozen Atlantic salmon, worth AUD $144 and supposedly curated for George Clooney himself.
For those who reside in the Southern Hemisphere, grabbing these Goop items isn’t possible. But thankfully, those down under can still sift through each gift guide on offer—no matter the global location—over at Goop’s website here.