Mandy Moore has shared a searing confession about the reality of being a new mother in the midst of the pandemic after welcoming her son, Gus, back in February.
Speaking in an Instagram Live session with clinical psychologist Dr. Ashurina Ream, the This Is Us star revealed she found the experience unexpectedly isolating given a number of traditional new mum activities weren’t possible due to COVID-19 restrictions.
“The isolation is something that’s really hit me that I wasn’t necessarily expecting,” she explained adding that she was forced to reframe her expectations around even the most simple things like baby classes.
“I guess when I imagined motherhood, I sort of imagined like, oh, you find community… and you go to Mummy-and-Me classes,” she added.
The roll-on effect? Feelings of inadequacy.
“I just felt this rush of like, ‘I’m not good enough for him.'”
Mandy continued: “I had these preconceived notions of myself going into motherhood… Obviously I knew it was going to be challenging, but I thought, ‘Oh, I maybe have this sort of naturally maternal side,’ whatever the heck that means.
“But I guess I just didn’t really recognise the worries, the fears, the sense of responsibility that is so ever-present moving forward once you become a mum.”
She added that she’s grateful for the support of her husband, Taylor Goldsmith, but the sense of loneliness due to the pandemic has, at times, felt overwhelming.
Mandy also referenced her character on This Is Us, Rebecca. She’s also a mum, but ironically, the parallels between her on-screen portrayal and what happened off-screen were scarce.
“I kind of joke around, like, ‘Can I go back now? Can we start the series from the beginning because I just have some little inkling now what it’s like to be a parent that I didn’t before?'” She explained to Ream.
“I think just the reality of postpartum [life] versus what I was sort of expecting, having played a mum already and knowing that that oxytocin wash was not gonna last forever.”