WARNING: The following article contains spoilers for Netflix’s Bling Empire.
To say the season three finale of Selling Sunset left a Bel-Air mansion-shaped hole in our heart might be an exaggeration, but only just.
The truth is, our reality TV-loving hearts know no bounds, especially when it comes to peeking into the lifestyles of the rich and richer. Naturally, when Netflix presented us with Bling Empire, something of an amalgamation between the lavish Los Angeles setting of Selling Sunset, and the wealthy, kooky characters of Crazy Rich Asians, we, like much of Australia, couldn’t press play fast enough.
Just like we did with the streaming giant’s other recent, including Love Is Blind and Emily In Paris, we had a few thoughts and feelings about Bling Empire and it’s obscenely rich cast members after inhaling the first season. And if Twitter is anything to go by—we definitely weren’t the only ones.
Scroll on for the 10 thoughts we’ve all had while watching Bling Empire.
1. I’m just going to watch one episode to see if I like it… *One entire season later*
Did we start watching it to fill the Selling Sunset void? Yes. Did we watch the whole thing in one sitting and then go and stalk the cast’s Instagrams? Yes. Are we now desperately waiting for season two? You bet.
2. Okay, but Anna Shay is an icon
Firstly, where has the fabulous Anna Shay been hiding all of this time? Secondly, how do we find a friend who will literally fly us to Paris just to go their favourite restaurant? Suffice to say, the reclusive billionaire and defence weapons heiress of Japanese and Russian heritage is clearly the queen of the show (sorry, Christine!) and deserves to be honoured as such (and not have people going through her bathroom, Kim).
The master of throwing platinum shade with a Miranda Priestly-esque voice, Anna is also the richest on the show, but somehow bragged about it the least (if ever). She was also a genuinely good friend to all of them, especially Kelly and Kevin, and unabashedly generous with her wealth, without seeking anything in return.
In short? An icon.
3. This show just called me poor in 26 different languages
Spending USD $19,000 a month on rent? Rolexes as party favours? Chartering a jet to go on a luxury shopping weekend? Horses that fly Emirates? Asking a shaman which Bottega Veneta pouch bag you should buy? Throwing a one-year-old an amusement park-sized party with a Gucci bag claw machine? Excuse us while we attempt to pick our jaws up off the floor.
While it is certainly a *choice* to flash this level of wealth in a time when many are still dealing with lost livelihoods amid a pandemic, we couldn’t help but be dumbfounded by the sheer excess on this show, or, you know, look away from it.
4. Is it just us or is Kevin shirtless a lot?
5. Kelly and Andrew’s relationship seems… toxic
While we’re aware that anything can be edited to appear a certain way in reality shows, the depiction of Kelly and Andrew’s relationship did not leave a good taste in our mouths, to say the least. From episode one, when he exploded at her for going shopping without him in Paris, right through to their conversations with the therapist, and many moments in between, it became pretty apparent that their relationship was not healthy at all.
Given the series’ ambiguous end, it’s unclear whether the pair are still together, but for Kelly’s sake, we sure hope not.
6. Christine took the blame for her husband’s infertility? Damn
While the show sets Christine up as a sort of vapid rival ‘queen’ of Beverly Hills who is trying to compete with Anna at the start, it certainly didn’t take too long before diving into some very serious and personal topics—ones that are rarely discussed in a reality TV show format. Learning that she shouldered the blame for her husband Dr. Gabriel Chiu’s infertility struggles, and was consequently shunned by his family, was one of the most heartbreaking moments of the show.
7. Sorry, Kim, but how do you not know going into someone’s private bathroom and throwing a penis pump out the window is wrong?
Honestly, that whole ‘penis pump’ incident should not have happened. Firstly, Anna’s personal bathroom should obviously be off-limits, but the more puzzling question is how Kim just… didn’t know this? And how she thought it was a good idea to throw it out the window? Nope, not acceptable, no matter how rich you are.
That said, she did eventually apologise to Anna, so we’re prepared to let it slide… this time.
8. Is anyone else crying during Kevin’s hypnosis? No? Just us?
He must be protected at all costs.
9. Can’t decide if Kevin and Kane trying to track down Kim’s biological father is being a good friend or just butting in? And, low-key, should Kevin and Kim be together?
As we saw in the series, Kim’s mission to find her biological father was close to the finish line when Kevin and Kane (who we otherwise love) decided to jump in and help their friend in case what they found wasn’t what she wanted to hear. But we couldn’t help but wonder, good intentions aside, was it really their place to interfere behind her back and fly across the country to track down her dad?
That said, she clearly wasn’t upset with them after the initial shock and did seem to get the closure she needed, so perhaps all’s well that ends well on that front!
On that note, does anyone else think Kim and Kevin may have shared some sparks and could actually make a good couple?
10. Obscene wealth aside, this show was surprisingly deep. Now, when’s season two?
Came for the drama and glamorous escape from our hum-drum existence, stayed for the unexpectedly deep topics depicted. Now, Netflix, if we we could just get Bling Empire season two stat (heavy on the Anna Shay, please), that would be fabulous.