Rumer Willis And Jada Pinkett-Smith Have An Important Discussion On The Nuances Of Consent

And Jada's mum has some stuff to say

Rumer Willis, daughter of Demi Moore and Bruce Willis, opens up to Jada Pinkett-Smith about losing her virginity during a discussion about consent. 

In a new trailer for an upcoming episode of Red Table Talk, Rumer reflects on the first time she had sex. 

“When I lost my virginity, when I was 18, I was more concerned with the shame that I was feeling at not having done it,” she says in the video, explaining that she wasn’t actually ‘ready’ for the experience.

“I was not abused or wasn’t raped… but I didn’t say ‘Yes’. I wasn’t gung-ho about it. But I also didn’t say ‘No’,” she continues. 

The two talk about how consent is not as black-and-white as a firm ‘yes’ and ‘no’, and how relationship dynamics can play a part in communicating consent. 

“I just let it happen. He was older and took advantage, and didn’t check-in. That’s where I feel like the man’s responsibility is,” she says. 

“No means no, but what if you can’t say no?”

Rumer Willis

In another preview, Willis takes the conversation back to her early adolescent ideas around sex and consent, which were rooted in her issues of self-esteem.

“At some point I had learnt that if someone wants or values me sexually, desires me, then they are entitled to me,” she says.

The 32-year-old reveals that she had these thoughts as young as the age of 14, where she speaks of how critical media attention prompted low self-worth that ultimately led her to believe that physical attention was always a positive thing. 

“If I’m desired sexually then I have value,” she recalls thinking. 

And the group of women, including Pinkett-Smith‘s mother, Adrienne Banfield-Norris and daughter, Willow Smith, collectively compare the attention to a drug. 

Jada Pinkett-Smith

Banfield-Norris, better known to some as ‘Gam’, opens up about her own understanding of consent throughout her marriage.

“So, Gam, you feel like nowhere in your history, in regards to sexual intimacy, have you felt like you had a sexual experience that was not necessarily consensual or in that grey areas?” asks Pinket-Smith. 

To which her mother responds, “I have, I have… but it was with my husband—your dad, actually… so that’s really grey,” she admits. 

Smith, 19, can be seen getting emotional along with her mother and Gam. 

“So you’re basically saying that you had non-consensual sex with my father?” Pinkett-Smith asks before Banfield-Norris nods her head. 

Model and activist Amber Rose is also seen sharing her own personal story of consent in the clip. 

The episode of Red Table Talk will air on Wednesday, October 21. Watch the preview below.

Related stories