LIFE & CULTURE

MAFS Recap: We’re Shocked Joanne Didn’t Burn All Of James’ Belongings

Ouch.

Hoo boy that was a big Married At First Sight commitment ceremony, wasn’t it? We lost three couples, and we’re pretty much on the verge of losing another already.

First up we visit that couple – Joanne and James – who are now sleeping in different apartments and also, James has gone totally AWOL and left his wedding ring in his room. Damn. Joanne is pissed – she feels she was the one who was humiliated and yet here he is acting like a big baby.

Bryce and Melissa have a bloody weird conversation where Melissa tells him he was unfairly treated at the commitment ceremony. He’s basically got a total Yes Girl in his corner, and it’s quite alarming to watch Melissa wash over all his toxic behaviour like he’s the victim here.

Bec and Jake decide to “press the reset button” after Bec wrote leave during the commitment ceremony. They’re going to try and make things work this week. Meanwhile, James has been discovered! Joanne goes to speak with him and ask why he’s being such a shit and he is SO rude, he can’t understand why she was upset with him over his comments about Alessandra, and is literally like “you’re nothing” as in, she’s not of any importance to him and he to her. She storms out, understandably.

On to new weddings! The first couple is Liam – a farm living prison officer who loves his grandparents and seems pretty sweet, and Georgia – a 25-year-old OBSESSED, and I mean OBSESSED, with pink. Look at her bedroom.

MAFS
What is this Barbie complex

The next couple is this guy who is a theatre producer and Italian, and his wife left him. I missed his name, lol. His wife is Kerry, this heaps-smiley occupational therapist who has also been through divorce. I guess at least they can bond over being divorced if nothing else?

MAFS
I swear she did not stop smiling like this for the entire ep

All the couples get to go to the weddings! Fun!! Everyone is stoked except for Joanne, who is literally counting down the seconds until she is no longer contractually obligated to remain on the show.

MAFS
“Love is dead”

The first couple to get hitched is Johnny (the Italian theatre guy!) and Kerry. They seem to really like each other from first impressions, and kiss at the altar. Cute! Then it’s time for Liam and Georgia’s wedding. She is WAY more chatty, Coco-esque than her first video made her appear to be, but what’s so nice is Liam loves that about her. Finally they pair the chatty cathy with a guy who LIKES chatty cathys! They exist guys!

At Kerrie and Johnny’s wedding everyone is getting along – even when Kerrie tells Johnny that her two dogs are being minded by her ex, who she is still super close to, he doesn’t seem phased. They talk to the other couples and at one point James yells out that they make a good looking couple, and Joanne retorts “from the outside, yeah” with this withering look on her face. LOL. 

Meanwhile, Georgia and Liam are getting along famously until one of the couples asks them about what their dealbreakers are, and the convo ends up revealing that Liam is bisexual. Honestly, the way everyone behaved was so immature and gross, lots of shocked giggles and stupid shit like that. Christ, how is it 2021 and we still treat fluid sexuality or bisexuality like it’s taboo? Grow up. 

Anyway, they go have a talk about it alone, because it was news to Georgia, and what is REALLY cool is her response – she says that everything in his past has led to this moment, and as long as he is willing to commit to her she’s cool with it. It’s slightly off (I mean, he doesn’t stop being bisexual just because he’s currently with a woman) but the fact she didn’t have a total tizz over the news was great to see, and Liam is stoked.

MAFS
YES. We love a positive queen.

Over at Kerry and Johnny’s wedding, Joanne and James go for a talk. They both agree the wedding has brought up feelings between them and they somewhat mend fences. They then explain to Kerry and Johnny that their previous animosity was because they saw themselves in their cute wedding.

Tomorrow night! Honeymoons! Sex! Probably!

Related stories