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5 Signs You’re Not Coping

It’s the mental health epidemic you’ve likely never heard of, but it’s estimated to affect millions of Australians. Could you be one of them?

Sometimes, signs of not coping are subtle. You can’t quite put your finger on it, but something just feels ‘off’. Or maybe the signs are there but you can’t figure out why.

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Feelings associated with anxiety and  depression are well-documented and familiar to many of us who’ve experienced them, either personally or through someone close to us. But if it feels different, it may be that you’re one of the millions of Australians with Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. 

A hidden epidemic, Complex PTSD—also known as CPTSD or Complex Trauma—is a condition many people aren’t aware they have. In fact, it often can’t be diagnosed until they seek treatment.

What Is Complex PTSD And How Is It Different From PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)?

“PTSD is caused by experiencing one traumatic event—a car accident, a war; it’s one terrifying moment where the fight or flight response occurs,” explains Diane Young, a Trauma and Addiction Specialist at South Pacific Private Hospital on Sydney’s Northern Beaches.

“But when it comes to Complex PTSD, you’ve experienced repeated events like that, often starting in childhood—physical or emotional abuse, neglect, suicide, being raised by someone with a substance abuse or mental health illness; it has to be series of events.”

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So how are you meant to know if this is something you’re experiencing ? Here are five crucial signs.

1. You’re Angry All The Time

“There will be lots of conflict in these people’s lives, especially with those they’re closest to,” Young says.

For example, maybe your manager—who you normally love working with—asks about a change in your performance. Or a close friend might ask if something is wrong. In both scenarios, someone with complex PTSD might lash out without really knowing why. There’s a feeling of being on edge.

2. You Have New (Bad) Habits

Smoking, drinking, gambling, sex, medications—they can all be a crutch to avoid or cope with the anxious feelings that have surfaced. With Complex PTSD it could be a sign of trying to avoid flashbacks, or a way to just get through the day. Whatever the case there’s a definite link between trauma and addiction.

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3. You’re Avoiding The Matter

“The brain has a lot to do with how we process emotion and memory. People with Complex Trauma bury experiences as children, then as adults they tend to go a bit delusional or live in denial,” Young says.

This is one of the reasons why it’s very common for people with Complex Trauma to not even know they have the disorder until they’re in therapy.

It can also surface in a couple of ways:

  • You might have no recollection of the trauma from childhood; you disassociate from it completely
  • You might create a new version of events where the trauma wasn’t as bad as it actually was

This is the brain doing what it does best: protecting us from reliving traumatic events.

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4. You Need To Be In Control Of Everything

Trauma experienced in childhood—a time when we are vulnerable—can result in adverse effects in adulthood. It’s common for people to try and do anything to maintain feelings of control. There are many ways this can manifest as signs of not coping—from controlling the actions of those around you to controlling money, food, and even other people emotions by people-pleasing—this is a compulsive need to keep others happy.

“Conversely, people with Complex Trauma may become quite driven—so extremely functional,” Young says. “These people don’t want to feel that way again so in their mind, if they have money they have power.”

5. You Feel Empty

While this can be an emotion attached to depression, it can also be a sign of Complex Trauma.

“These people come to therapy as they’re not feeling like themselves—they have no motivation or they’re experiencing anxiety,” explains Young.

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“Oftentimes they’ll say ‘I don’t feel like I’m living my best life’—they have no meaning or purpose.”

It’s not until they’re in therapy that the reasons why unfold. Young says this is also why group therapy, like that offered by South Pacific Private Hospital, is effective for the treatment of Complex Trauma. While the signs of not coping may be there, it could be hard to recognise Complex Trauma until you have heard and sympathised with others who’ve experienced traumatic pasts. 

Where Can You Get Help?

The South Pacific Private Hospital website has an online self-assessment you can take to get a better understanding of whether key indicators of Complex Trauma apply to your situation. You can also reach out for a free, confidential and professional phone assessment on 1800 063 332 to see if the treatment programs are right for you.

Alternatively, speak with your GP about the signs of not coping you identify with. Or, if you need urgent help, call 000.

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The good news? “People with Complex PTSD can recover, it will take time, it’s a process and not easy but I believe they can,” says Young.

“It’s about gaining an understanding of why they do the things they do – what causes them to act the way they do.”

Brought to you by South Pacific Private Hospital. 

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