An Irish woman has taken to Twitter to send “prayers and good wishes” to the pickpocket who tried to rob her on public transport, only to find a shabbily-wrapped tampon in her pocket which he swiftly returned.
“Send prayers & good wishes for the guy who tried to pick my pocket on the luas, took out a tampon, got mortified & tried to put it back,” Lisa Coen from Dublin tweeted, describing her startling encounter on the city’s light rail system, the Luas.
It’s difficult to imagine what the thief thought he was stealing when he grabbed hold of the sanitary item in the first place. A pen lid? An insect’s cocoon? Or as one Twitter user suggested, a very fat joint?
Whatever he expected, it was clear from his obvious terror that a ladies’ sanitary item was not high on his wish list.
The tweet has been shared thousands of times since it was posted and prompted Twitter users to share their own stories of regretted robberies.
“My backpack was stolen while I was getting the baby out of the taxi,” wrote one commenter. “We were on our way home. Bag full of used cloth nappies. Very used.”
"Friend’s old dog died while he was away. Kind neighbour put dog in bag to take corpse to vet, by bus. Bag stolen,” laughed another.
Others pondered the virtues of filling their pockets or bags with tampons in the future, as a way to thwart squeamish thieves. Another commenter even said that when she lived in a pickpocketing hotspot she’d fill her bags with notes that read “Congratulations, you have stolen a piece of paper,” to disrupt their game.
But the true lesson for all of us is the discovery that tampons, while innately hilarious, are largely harmless. It’s okay, mortified thief guy. A tampon can’t hurt you, especially not in its wrapper. It won’t curse your family, nor will your crops fail for generations.
But nonetheless, we join Lisa in sending our thoughts and prayers for your swift psychological recovery.
Thoughts and prayers, mortified thief guy. Thoughts and prayers.