Stop the press: today is Kanye West’s birthday! If there’s one thing we know for certain, it’s that the Yeezus rapper isn’t afraid to sing his own praises. We’re talking about a man who has compared himself to god, Michelangelo, Picasso and the pyramids.
Here are 17 times Kanye West left us scratching our heads with his weird, wild and wacky comments:Â
1.  I’m my favourite rapper.
2.  I’ve put myself in a lot of places where a vain person wouldn’t put themselves in. Like what’s vanity about wearing a kilt?
3.  Man… ninjas are kind of cool… I just don’t know any personally.
4.  When I think of competition it’s like I try to create against the past. I think about Michelangelo and Picasso, you know, the pyramids.
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5.  I hate when I’m on a flight and I wake up with a water bottle next to me like oh great now I gotta be responsible for this water bottle.
6.  I specifically ordered Persian rugs with cherub imagery!!! What do I have to do to get a simple Persian rug with cherub imagery uuuuugh.
7.  Sometimes I get emotional over fonts.
8.  I could never do stand up cause I tell jokes better when I’m sitting.
9.  Do you know where to find marble conference tables? I’m looking to have a conference… not until I get the table though.
10. I am God’s vessel. But my greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live.
11. I think what Kanye West is going to mean is something similar to what Steve Jobs means. I am undoubtedly, you know, Steve of Internet, downtown, fashion, culture. Period. By a long jump. I honestly feel that because Steve has passed, you know, it’s like when Biggie passed and Jay Z was allowed to become Jay Z.
![](https://www.marieclaire.com.au/wp-content/uploads/sites/5/media/4933/160608_kanye2.jpg)
12. Sometimes people write novels and they just be so wordy and so self-absorbed. I am not a fan of books. I would never want a book’s autograph. I am a proud non-reader of books.
13. You should only believe about 90 percent of what I say. As a matter of fact, don’t even believe anything that I’m saying at all. I could be completely fucking with you, and the world, the entire time.
14. I don’t even listen to rap. My apartment is too nice to listen to rap in.
15. I jog in Lanvin.
16. I feel like I’m too busy writing history to read it
17. I don’t personally like suit jackets anymore. I especially hate suit jackets on women… that was a groundbreaking idea 5 million years ago!