The Ultimate Guide To Quarantine Self-Care

Spending time alone never looked so good

As we move into week Who-Knows-What-Month-It-Is of quarantine, the novelty of working from home – or not having to work at all – is starting to wear thin. Though apps like House Party and Zoom kept us busy in the first few weeks of isolation, there’s only so long someone changing their background  to a beach – or themselves to a potato, for that matter – can amuse us before we start aching for real-life encounters. Ah, the good old days.

For people living with their significant others or housemates, Carol Baskin’s approach – allegedly feeding her husband to tigers on the Netflix sensation Tiger King – is starting to seem more justified by the day and for those living alone, even the joys of moving from day pyjamas to night pyjamas is slowly diminishing. ‘Slowly’ being the operative word. Yes, I am in pyjamas.

With a lot of unknowns causing stress and anxiety and news reports changing daily, it’s more important than ever to practise self-love and self-care and to learn to be comfortable spending time alone. For some, the latter term, self-care, is largely being reevaluated now that simple pleasures, such as getting a manicure or massage, aren’t readily available to us and rituals that kept our wellbeing in check, like an after work wine with a work wife, are banned. But thankfully, there are plenty of ways to indulge in self-care from the comfort of your own home.

Sweatpants optional, but very much advised.

Make a face mask from scratch

You might not get a free neck massage with this facial, but you do get to enjoy it on the couch with Netflix – and the best part? It’s free. There are plenty of DIY face mask recipes available online made with the likes of avocado oats, but we’re going with Hailey Baldwin’s go-to for dull skin – because have you seen her skin?! – which she recently shared on her Instagram stories: “Take an egg, crack it into a bowl, add a little bit of honey and mix it together, then put it on your face until it’s dry before washing off.” 


You know those banana breads you keep seeing your friends baking all over Instagram? There’s a high chance they weren’t avid bakers before quarantine either. If bananas aren’t your thing, Queen Chrissy Teigen just shared her carrot cake recipe on Twitter.

Revisit old faves  

Social media has made it seem like everyone but you is ripping through five books a week while still managing to keep up with the latest viral TV sensations – if you haven’t seen Ozark season three, have you even been quarantining? – at the same time. But there’s beauty in ignoring everything you should be doing and instead, revisiting old faves. Just like ordering the same thing at a restaurant time after time instead of branching out, going back to books you’ve read before or rewatching Friends on repeat is comforting – and we all need a bit of that right now. Which is exactly why I’m rereading Harry Potter.

Try yoga

I’m the first to admit that yoga has always been at the very bottom of my list when it comes to exercise, due to it being too slow-paced and low-impact (give me those hot sauce burpees any day). But there’s a reason yoga is recommended for alleviating stress and anxiety and calming the body and mind. While we all have evenings at home, it’s the perfect time to check in with your body and mind. Yoga by Adrienne has hundreds of free videos on YouTube, including practices dedicated specifically to anxiety and stress.


Marie Kondo’s methods of keeping houses tidy don’t just look good, they’re proven to lower stress levels too. A recent study found that physical clutter is linked with procrastination and, in turn, lower life satisfaction, while other research shows that clutter is associated with elevated levels of the stress hormone cortisol. BRB, off to clean out my pantry.

Spend more time with your vibrator

What’s the ultimate form of self-care? Something that improves both your mental and physical well-being at the same time. Masturbation not only feels great, it also causes your body to release a bunch of endorphins and hormones, including oxytocin, the “love” hormone. This helps to relax our muscles and lower the stress hormone, cortisol, which has been linked to weight-loss issues, inflammation, stress eating, acne and insomnia. Plus, if you’ve been struggling to get to sleep at night, masturbation releases a hormone called prolactin, which triggers relaxation and makes you tired – remember getting a good night’s sleep is also a very important part of self-care! Convinced? We’d suggest Vush’s The Empress sex toy, a clitoral vacuum stimulator that has over 1,000 five star reviews online. Use the discount code ‘SELFCARE’ at the check out for 60 per cent off and free shipping. Thank us later.

Brought to you by Vush.

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