Twenty four hours ago this writer had never heard of Jack McIntosh, or his self-imposed ‘rejection challenge’. But after being – somewhat forcibly – exposed to the saga playing out between Jack Mac (as he’s known on socials), and feminist content creator, Jordan Tan, one can’t help but feel compelled to dive into this train wreck of a debacle – even if is just for the lols.
Whether you’re reading this as an avid follower of TikTok drama, or you’re late to the pity party that was Jack McIntosh’s truly staggering response (as I confess to be) – here’s a little background information to get you in the mood.
Posting a video to her TikTok, Jordan Tan described an exhausting encounter she’d recently had after two Perth-based men who were “apparently in the mental health and wellness space,” sent her a voice note out of the blue.
Aside from those two little titbits, she kept the identity of the men anonymous. Instead, using the voice note to emphasise the perplexing sense of audacity that its message, and the men behind it, were displaying.
Tan’s crime, according to their apparent disbelief? Her refusal to meet up with them to, simply, “talk about some things.” And no, detail hasn’t been omitted here, that is how truly nondescript the request was.
“Yeah it would be awesome to hear your perspectives and hopefully give some of our perspectives, and learn from each other,” one of the men said, after stating they’d “seen her socials” where they’d noticed she shared some “strong opinions of men.”
“Because I’m sure you don’t want to feel that way for the rest of your life, and I’m sure you want to be listened to,” the note continued. And as “two men in the space of mindset and mental health,” they felt like they were the right people to offer that to chance to Jordan.
After she replied to say she wasn’t exactly comfortable meeting up with two random strangers to “share perspectives” – as if it warranted a response at all – she asked what it was they intended to achieve from the meeting, to which the men replied: “Yeah, the intention is to literally just understand the perspective and maybe we can give a bit of our perspective. It might help each other learn something.”
How anyone could resist such an alluring proposal, we just don’t know.
“Being the kind person that I am, I gave them the opportunity to walk away with some kind of dignity,” explained Tan. “I said, unfortunately this doesn’t align with me, and I don’t picture an outcome that I’m fulfilled by, but if you’re really interested in my perspective, feel free to continue on following my social media journey.
“I would also recommend reading some literature written by women or donating to charities that support us. I’ve attached some links…”
Further explaining that she’d sent through links to texts such as Clementine Ford’s Boys Will Be Boys and Men Who Hate Women by Laura Bates, because, as Tan noted in her piece to camera, if the two were serious about being interested in her perspective, then they would try harder to understand it on their own. Without *sigh* having to rely on a woman to educate them about their privileged place in this world.
“This guy started his rejection therapy journey and posts all about it online,” said Tan of one of the men. “So I said to him ‘for someone who supposedly practices rejection therapy you don’t seem to handle it very well'”.
“It doesn’t feel like they actually want to listen to me or learn from me. It seems like they just want to project their own deeply insecure beliefs on how ‘not all men’, so that I don’t have to ‘live like this for the rest of my life’,” she continued. “Like how is it that you think that I live? Because I live a pretty fucking happy life. Why on earth would I agree to this?”
It’s a tale as old as time, isn’t it? Man gets podcast. Man makes claims about ‘doing the work’ but still expects women to offer up their labour for free. Man gets sad when women aren’t nice to him and don’t shower him with praise for doing the bare minimum.
Why Can’t They Just Get It?
In a move that will surprise no one, despite Jordan Tan explicitly keeping the authors of the voice note anonymous and not tagging any accounts in her video, content creator and apprentice sparky-turned-mindset ‘coach’, Jack McIntosh went and outed himself as one of the men on the recording.
In a now-deleted (but linked here for your viewing pleasure) TikTok, McIntosh posted a five minute mess of an ‘apology’ where he attempted to crawl out of the giant hole he’d dug for himself by – get this – letting everyone know that he was “literally just a guy, doing a thing. Trying to be better. Trying to inspire people as much as possible.”
The video begins with McIntosh sobbing into the mic – a teaser for the emotional journey to come – before being comforted by an unknown blond man who is assumedly the other man on the voice note sent to Tan.
Just when we think he’s about to crumble and won’t possibly make it through the next four minutes and 58 seconds, he pushes the random blond man (who we later learn is Egan) away and bravely reassures everyone that “it’s all good… it’s all good, I can talk”. Phew!
“The reason I decided to message Jordan – Jordan Tan – was to have a conversation,” he begins. “To give context to that, Egan and I catch up with strangers all the time. It’s one of our passions. ,
“We love talking to strangers. Getting to know their story. Understanding perspectives. Isn’t that what we’re hear to do? Share stories? Share experiences? Share knowledge? Learn from each other?”
Great for them. Not so great if you’re a woman who’s had to deal with a lifetime of wondering if the men they’re seeing, or walking beside, or just existing in the world with, might assault, rape or murder them, but fine.
“First of all, for all the comments that want to come at me and slander me, have a look inside as well,” he implored. “Do you truly know me? When you said that the values didn’t align, and you didn’t see a good perfect-picture ending. The reason I asked why is because I was genuinely curious. I’m a fucking curious person I just didn’t see the harm in it.”
And therein, Jack McIntosh – and fellow men of the world – lies the problem.
Assuming that women owe you anything, let alone their time, resources, labour, or even breath to respond to such a request, is audacity in its highest form and yet you still don’t get it.
Expecting women to bear the brunt of your inadequacies, shortfalls or knowledge gaps under the guise of “being an ally” is literally the opposite of what an actual ally could and should be doing every day of their lives if they’re in any way genuine about their feminist intentions.
But what of the texts? Surely Jack “understanding perspectives” McIntosh jumped at the chance to learn from this experience? Well, we’re sad to report that not only did he not follow up on Tan’s suggestions, but he got so overwhelmed by the concept that it turned into quite the distressing ask.
“I’ve never read a book, so when you send me these books it goes over my head,” he admitted in the video. “When people tell me to read any book, whether I have a fear of reading books, I don’t know… But I have never read a book before, I learn through conversation. Other people. Good or bad… That’s just me.”
Now, don’t get us wrong, we’re not blaming the guy for admitting he struggles to read, or allegedly, doesn’t read at all. Having a grasp on basic language is a challenge for most of us. And, who are we to judge if the man genuinely has difficulty reading?
However, we will say, that perhaps when it comes to this small matter, that he could have benefited from keeping it to himself – or, as we might remind children – ‘that’s an inside thought’.
As a sidenote, for anyone else out there who suffers from Bibliophobia, which is a very real condition according to Cleveland Clinic, there are fantastic audiobooks these days, or heck, even podcasts, that might be able to help you overcome your fear of books.
Oh, and after removing his original video, McIntosh posted a follow up ‘apology’ where he noted he was “taking accountability.” He said: “My approach was very naïve. I’m now taking the time to educate myself and try and be better every single day. I just wanted to try and spark a conversation with Jordan and learn from her experiences as I am a mental health advocate. I would never want anyone to feel the way that I made Jordan feel and for that I’m truly sorry. Thank you.”
It appears he won’t read books, or the room.
