Rituals have changed my whole life. About five or six years ago, before Covid, I was constantly stressed, travelling for work non-stop and living in a way that really wasn’t sustainable.
I had been in the surf industry since I was 14 years old. I started in retail and worked my way up to global head of product for women at Roxy. It was my dream job and I stayed there for seven years and did a further seven years at Rip Curl after that.
Hitting Burnout
I loved my work but the travel was relentless. I would be in China, France, Hong Kong and the US two weeks out of every six. We would be planning five years out, working on product ranges and I felt constantly on this guinea pig wheel of a calendar, and it began to take its toll.
Adrenal fatigue was constant and I felt completely burnt out. I was rushing through everything, and didn’t realise how disconnected I had become from myself, let alone from my partner
and my kids. I didn’t feel present or grounded, I was just trying to get through each day.
A single mum until my oldest son, Duke, was two, I honestly thought that single mum life would be it for me. I was living in Torquay in Victoria without family and I had to fly my dad over to look after Duke whenever I travelled for work. It was a real juggle and it all contributed to the feelings of burnout.
Becoming A Family
Then my now-husband, Simon MacGregor (aka Tripper) came into our lives. Tripper and I had known each other for 20 years, as we both worked at Roxy. He was head of marketing when I was head of product. He’s the reason why Duke is who he is today. Tripper loves AFL and surfing, and has been such a positive influence on our sons. We have become such a good team and created a really good family values unit. We value nature, surfing, mental health, connection and family, and it’s only now that I’ve had time to reflect on it that I realise how far I’ve come from that person I once was.
The Importance Of Ritual
Implementing small rituals and habits has helped me become a better mum, partner and founder. They have helped me slow down, find presence and rebuild my life with intention and calm. It wasn’t about doing more, it was about doing things with greater awareness. And it helped me to see how tiny changes can make a big difference in how you move through a day.
Scent became one of the most powerful rituals for me. It all started with a trip to New York where I had bought some incense. I really struggled to come home, pick up the kids from school, disconnect from that hectic workload and be a mum. So I began this ritual of having a shower, changing into a “mum uniform” (trackies or pyjamas) and then burning some incense. It would
just calm everyone down and it created a strong scent association.
At the time, I didn’t realise how I was using scent, but when I was in the shower one day it just popped into my head: I need to make incense. I said to my husband, “I’m just going
to try making my own incense and see what happens.” I went into the depths of learning about incense and realised – you know what? – there was nothing out there I really liked.
“Over time, the ritual becomes a cue and your body knows what to do next.”
Sophie Marshall
In The Beginning
When we started, we had three rules: it has to be easy, it has to be self-funded, and the people we work with have to be good humans. We called it This is Incense and we now have 12 scents that I’ve developed for different times of day, seasons and moods, from creativity and focus, to rest and wind-down. It’s about creating a scent association with what you’re doing in the moment. Over time, the ritual becomes a cue and your body knows what to do next.
It has become a big part of my daily life. At 7am, with my morning coffee, I use a scent that grounds me. Mornings used to be frantic, but this tiny ritual reminds me to start the day present rather than overwhelmed. After school drop-off, when I shift into the work part of my day, I use a scent that helps with creativity and focus. It gently moves my mind into the space I need it to be in, without forcing anything.
By mid-afternoon, when energy dips or when stress starts to creep in, I reach for a scent that helps with re-calibration. It gives me a sense of clarity when I’d normally feel scattered. And in the evenings, as the day softens, I always choose a scent for rest or wind-down. The shift signals to my whole system that it’s time to let go, and close the day. It also helps the kids: rituals create such a sense of comfort and consistency for them. They know that this is the shift to evening, this is quiet time, or this is bedtime.
Creating Calm
Before I brought rituals into my life, I was constantly in fight-or-flight mode. My nervous system was always dialled up. Even the smallest things felt overwhelming. Rituals helped
me create pockets of calm. They gave me permission to slow down. They changed how I show up for my family. I really believe they helped me become a more patient and more connected mother. When you are always rushing, it’s hard to be truly present with the people you love. Rituals brought that back for me.
Getting into the water became another important ritual for me. I used to always eat my lunch at my computer but one day I grabbed one of the kid’s old diving masks and started swimming under water. I found it created such a beautiful, meditative state that I started looking forward to it during my lunch break. Because of this, I decided to develop my own dive masks. I wanted to create beautiful dive masks and snorkels to encourage other women – or anyone else – to get into the water. Some people say, “Incense, oils and dive masks don’t
go together.” But they are all tools to help you explore ritual.
Keeping It Personal
All of my scents are very personal to me. I want each of them to spark a conversation or some inspiration. It’s funny because the incense is in a beautiful box and smells amazing, but the actual ritual of opening the box, taking it out slowly and lighting it, has also become such a big part of helping people get back to calm.
Our newest incense is called Heartfire and inside it says “Burn gently, love deeply”. Life lately has made me realise how important it is to express your love to your family. Every time I speak to Duke, who is at boarding school following his dreams of playing for the AFL, we say “I love you, mum”, “I love you, mate”. That expression has become a ritual.
You don’t need to overhaul your life or create the perfect routine to feel better. You just need one tiny moment of intention. It might be lighting a scent, or making your morning coffee without your phone. It’s the intention behind it that’s important. Captions:
Discover This is Incense and Gentle Habits here.
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