Nikki Glaser reprised her hosting duties for the 2026 Golden Globes, stepping into what is arguably the most high-pressure role of the evening.
Living up to the impeccably high standard she set for herself last year, no one in the A-list audience was safe. From Kevin Hart’s height to Timothee Chalamet’s Marty Supreme transformation, the comedian’s opening monologue was a giggle-inducing highlight of the evening.
Nikki Glaser’s 2026 Golden Globes Monologue
Leonardo DiCaprio
Leonardo DiCaprio, who was nominated for Best Male Actor for his role in One Battle After Another, faced the usual digs about the age of his latest girlfriend.
“What a career you’ve had. I mean countless iconic performances you’ve worked with every great director, you’ve won three Golden Globes, an Oscar,” she began, “And the most impressive thing is that you were able to accomplish all of that before your girlfriend turned 30. I mean, it’s just insane.”
The comedian didn’t stop there though, acknowledging the age-old (pun intended) joke.
“I’m sorry I made that joke, it’s cheap,” Nikki admitted, “ I tried not to, but like… we don’t know anything else about you man.
“I searched the most in-depth interview you’ve ever given was in Teen Beat magazine in 1991. Is your favorite food still pasta, pasta, and more pasta?”
Turns out, it is.
Sean Penn
Nikki next took aim at iconic leading man, Sean Penn and Hollywood’s obsession with ageing in one brutal blow.
“Everyone in this town is obsessed with looking younger. Meanwhile, Sean Penn is like, “What if I slowly morph into a sexy leather handbag?” she joked.
Michael B. Jordan
She then shifted her focus to Michael B. Jordan, who was also nominated for Best Actor in Sinners, for playing twins, a fact Glaser lapped up.
“Michael played two brothers, he played twins, both twins,” she said, “And I can’t believe it. We got two Michael B. Jordans.
“When I saw that I was like, “Nicky B. Jerking.” Because that was…awesome.”
Timothee Chalamet
Given the dedication to his awards season campaign, it was no surprise Chalamet came under the microscope.
“Timothee Chalamet is here for Marty Supreme.What a dedicated performance you gave,” Glaser eased in, “Not a lot of people know this, but Timothy Chalamet is the first actor in history to have to put on muscle for a movie about ping pong.
“He gained over 60 ounces. It’s insane.”
Watch The Golden Globes on Paramount+ or 10Play.
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