āIt was three oāclock in the morning and I really wanted to go to sleep but my boyfriend of nine months didnāt seem tired, and neither did the woman weād just had sex with. My eyelids were drooping, but I did not want to be the one to break it up, or go to bed first.Ā
āāShall we open up some more wine?ā Laura* suggested.
My boyfriend read my expression and knew that the last thing I wanted was to stay up even later, drinking even more. āI think we should head to bed,ā he replied. I felt grateful ā until I realised that his suggestion had opened a whole new can of worms.
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āWe had discussed the sleeping arrangements earlier along with everything else, but that was before, and this was now. I recall feeling slightly panicked that James* would forget what weād agreed on, or that Laura would be upset with the plan. āIāll get the sofa bed out,ā James declared, leaving a long pause. āI donāt mind sleeping in here with you guys,ā replied Laura.Ā
āIf Iād been holding Jamesās hand, I would have dug my nails in, but Laura was between us with our duvet pulled up to her shoulders. I tried to look like it didnāt bother me ā I donāt think I did a good job, because James took over. āI think itāll be a bit cramped,ā he said. āDo you want tea?ā
āNot wanting to sleep with Laura wasnāt about what weād just done ā weād been planning the threesome for six weeks and I was happy weād gone through with it ā but the bed wasnāt big enough for three. I also didnāt want to sleep with someone I barely knew.Ā
āJames and Laura went to the kitchen and I thought about changing the sheets ā but I donāt when just James and I have sex, so I didnāt. I knew it would look like I was freaking out.Ā
āThe next morning we had breakfast together, but I wanted Laura to go so I could be alone with James. I wanted to talk about what happened and to go back to bed and enjoy each other all over again. When she did leave, Laura kissed me on the cheek and James on the lips. The night before, Iād watched her have sex with him without a twinge of jealousy, but now, as I watched her kiss him, I was overcome with it.Ā
āWe still see Laura occasionally, socially, and the fact weāve been together isnāt something Iāve ever tried to hide. I donāt regret it; itās still one of my hottest memories ā the one that James and I talk about the most in bed. However, thereās more to it than that. The way James treated me, that he was so sensitive to my needs and emotions, was a foundation on which Iāve built my trust in him ever since.Ā
āI think of what happened that night as a bit like bungee jumping. Iām glad I tried it ā it was fun ā but that doesnāt mean itās changed me as a person, or that Iām in any rush to do it again.āĀ